Seeking a deep prayer before the day has comes!

Dear Lord,

U know all my problems before hand, before I am able to speak and before anyone else, U see the whole picture as U are the Lord of the world creature and everything is in your plan.

There are a saying regarding BF/GF's relationship such as this:-

1.) There is always someone you fell for madly but you dare not even look at him/her into their eyes, your heart pumping fast, you guys feel shy whenever get closer but deep down inside the love for each other is so pure and kind and that is called "Puppy Love"! It's once in a lifetime and he/she was the first person you have met during your life of bf/gf relationship and it stays in heart forever and ever and they are always the perfect someone who we dream to marry of. (to be frank, if time could turn back, that is my wish to marry you and I would really wanted to shout out loud :"all I want is U!")

2.) after the first relationship and you will definitely bump into someone who truly love and care for you madly and they are the person who is really love you with all their hearts and sincerely you don't have to come out a single sacrification but they love you still for who you are. Hence, at this second stage of relationship, we were being take thing for granted and we don't sacrifice for love. Worse still, we have left the one who love us unconditionally. This is so silly! (which I used to blame myself, non-stop silly girl, you have let go a guy who will dies for u!)

3.) at this third time of bf/gf relationship, we have came to a stage that we will fall for someone madly, as if they were our spouse in our previous life. However due to our past experience, we used to take thing for granted until we have lost our loved one dearly, we get to realized it was too late to go back for the one who truly in love with. Once again, a failed relationship that never bring us to the marriage but bring only thousand and millions of broken hearts, tears, health break down and you torn your soul apart and that person know nuts about it! (a truly disaster stage of life that I thank god many times for never give me up!)

4.) the no.4 guy/girl used to be the one who don't really love you and so does you too. Both person doesn't have a strong feeling toward each other, less burden, less commitment, less caring, less responsibility and more of a don't care attitude. Somehow, this kind of relationship sarcastically workout and bring you guys to the hall of marriage. ( I'm in dilemma still, should I risk the rest of my life towards a cold-blooded? A lot of things that I don't share and he also don't bothered to ask and what is the point we ended up decide to tight up the knot?) - oh gosh, don't tell me the no.5 is waiting and I'm wasting my time now, at here?!) 

Dear Lord, I'm a person full of love and care which in turn I do really wish and expect a lot of love and care from my other half. But it seems at this stage of relationship, I'm in the trapped of the 4th relationship. I don't give a person my complete heart (after the 3rd disaster), if I don't see he put his whole heartedly effort on me. Dear Lord, please have mercy on me, if money can buy love, Yes, he loves me; if money can't do justice, I totally can't feel his love for me!

Lord, U are the creature of all and you have the plan on your hand. Please, I pray for your guidance on my path toward the wedding bell, should I walk down the aisle with this guy or should I not? Should you Lord, please open up my eyes wide, open up my mind wise and open up my heart sincerely to go along the way that you have planned for me. I really don't want to walk down the aisle with regrets!

Lord, please, if I have walking toward the direction that is not given by you, please re-direct me to the correct path. I don't wanna live the rest of my life with tears and sufferings and I will never wish to be with the one who never cares for me but fans me with money..

Dear Lord, time is less, I'm eargerly wanting for your answer. I know you love me dearly that you will never wanted to see me live in tears!

Lord, I pray for your merciness on me, Amen.

Mission impossible~

As usual, u cannot change a rude guy into a gentleman;
As usual, neither can u change one who don't keep their promises
To become a man of his word..

人的本性，难改。。
看穿了，不要埋怨。。
安静的改掉原本该走的方向就好！


何必为难别人，苦了自己呢？
没有你的明天，依然会有太阳！

懂得付出爱的人，遇到懂得珍惜的才叫幸福！

句号放在这。

很多時候正当我开开心心走向你時，
你却很不领情的把我踢开。。

让我一个人流着泪的把破碎的心收拾好，
再默默的离开。。没有任何安慰。。
没有一声歉意。。

五年了，我的心的确碎得很要命。。
是時候要好爱护我这一颗心，
不然我也活不了多久。。

在茫茫人海中，
我坚信着一定会遇见那一个识货的人！

想，在马年马上结婚去！

天啊！
当我很想结婚的时候，怎么我还没找到他？
怎么他还没出现？

他们说： 爱，是它来找你的，不是要你盲目的找！

所以，我还在等待那一个对的人！

遇到之后，会马上结婚，因为太多年的爱情，没有了鲜味，没人懂得珍惜！

这时我才唤然体会，闪电结婚也是个好事！

再问下去，我们就老了！

做在机场里头，按着电话，眼泪没办法不流下。。

我，要回家过秋，应该很开心才对，可是当我正要开开心心的回家的时候，听到了他又生病了。。

我，并不会很惊讶，因为这不是第一次了！在这短短的五年里，他从没有让我有信心他可以很健康的活着。。我爱上了一个病夫，难道我会很开心？

我每一次的祷告都有你，你也争取了每一个可以医好你的机会，但是怎么你的健康状况会随着你的年龄慢慢严重化？

从能一起旅行，到最后是我一个人的旅行。。

到了适婚年龄，你说你要等健康些才结婚，到后来你却赖我老是在读书，是我让我们结不了婚。。这句话真的彻底伤透了我的心。。

如果你是我。。到了这把年龄，没有文凭，没有好的工作，没有一个人能够给我保障。。你不会怕吗？你会怎么做？

你想一想，如果是我死命要读书，是我害了你没得结婚，那就请你离开好了！

我一整年没书读时，我不见得你有想婚的念头，所以别再找借口来浪费彼此的时间了！

肥的，我求你！

怎么好像全世界都睡了，但我还醒着？失眠，不是痛苦，是什么？ 

一闭上眼，脑就开始忙了起来！

嘿，肥的，今年，你会让我过关吗？

求你啦，求你啦，做做善事，不行吗？

再这样压力下去，我的健康就快不行了。。

肥的，可以吗？

好心肠，一点？

我爱他；他爱钱！

我爱他，
他却很爱钱。。

为了钱，
他常心不在焉的。。
为了钱，
他常对我不理不睬。。
为了钱，
他说他没有时间了。。

日子旧了，
我也开始怀疑。。
我是爱上他？
还是我也跟他一样也很爱着他的钱？


p.s. 我是真的快要走了，谢谢你的没时间，
至少让我走得没那么难过！

钱没了，再找过；
爱没了，再找过；
青春没了，再重新投胎吧！

美丽旅途 - Lake Toba ~

每一个旅途，都是美丽的。。

看遍世界各个角落，是提高人生价值观的主要管道！

这次的旅程，我到了一个叫为人心疼，但风景绝不输人的地方。。

这儿的风景优美，让我惊叹神美妙的创作！

每每到一个陌生的地方，我会抱有一颗期待的心去看这一个世界。。

城市，当然是我的大爱！能够裕愉其中的繁华福贵，是我活着最好的礼物。。

但是较落后及贫穷的地方，那一个旅程肯定会让我提会更深。。

亲身体验，真的是无价之宝！

我，拥有过人的慈悲心，常为万物的悲在流泪，祷告。。

看见比我不幸的人，事，物，我会非常感恩我所拥有的一切！

那一天，我们都乘坐在冷气的汽车里，那一个路程有数小时的长，

然而，一路上，我眼争争的看着数名小学生一起在猛烈的太阳下步行到学校去，

我是非常心疼这一般小孩的乡下生活。。

那些小孩很可爱，当我向他们招手的时候，他们回了我很美，很甜，很单纯的笑容！

这样就足以让我满足，也让我看见其实他们内心的世界是多么渴望人们的关注！

我甚至看到有些姐弟在家门外，蹲做在那儿。。痴痴的等着他们在外劳苦的爸妈？

我乞求上帝对他们仁慈，希望他们能够健康长大，成为好人。。也希望他们可以从简单的生活中提会到快乐！

p.s.这次的旅程让我好感恩，除了旅行游玩，我却深深的提会当地人的生活状况。。我带回来了一颗感恩的心，也送给了他们我最真成的祝福！

天使与投资者

如果你是天使，那么我会是受惠的世人；

如果你是投支者，那么我就只能是一只股！

说起天使，我朋友，他遇到了！

我朋友他自小家境贫穷，所以他没能上大学。。

他想成为律师的梦想就此抛汤了。。

谁又会料到，他遇到了与他不同种族的一位大律师，

那为师兄果然不求回报的供完他读完五年的大学，

当中包括生活费，不需他半工读，不需他还钱，不需他报答。。

只要我朋友成为律师后，不要忘记帮穷苦的学生实现他们的梦想！

他，不是天使，是什么？我朋友真有福气！

我呢？

跟他一样，一样的穷。。父母没能力。。我谅解。。

家中长辈供我一半，一半我半工读，结果还没毕业，利息开始算，成天向我要回钱。。

还好我遇到了一位投支者，从此我就只能是一个股。。

投资者，要的回报是我这一只股，可以升值。。

可惜我只不过是一个会动遥的股。。他开始没有了信心。。更害怕我让他大亏了。。

我难过的是我爱上了一位这样的投资者。。或许当除人家的怜皿，我误以为那是无私的爱。。

日子久了，我看见了他是一位很好心的投资者。。那并不是爱，或许他没察觉。。

如果爱，他不会常常提醒我他为我买单的所有总数，到至今已经有好多好多了。。

多到我自己都害怕，死了我这条命，我都还不清？

如果爱，他就不会从每个星期谓一一次的通话时间都没有了。。

如果爱，他不会对我的诉苦，示爱，都视而不见！好多心事，对朋友说的，还得到安蔚，对他说的，没有回应，只有石沉大海！

所谓：靠山，山会倒； 靠人，人会跑。。

收音机常说：没有人有义务要帮你，如果他们帮了，要感恩；不帮，没什么大碍，他们没有歉你！

还好，他拒决了再三的帮我，要不然我这一生非得嫁过去，做牛做马，还得看好多人的脸色。。

我真的没有卑威得要你娶我。。

放心，歉你的我会全数付还，我需要的是时间。。

因为此刻我真的很穷。。

我，暂时不做律师，肯定还有别的出入。。

因为环境不允许，所以梦想要靠边站！

我，会尽快找办法，至少还有一个月。。

但无论如何，我很感谢有你这样的投资者。。已经足够了，我快完成我的大学。。

我是曾经的那么认真的爱过， 我希望你也和我一样。。

就让那曾经，留给昨天吧！

后天，我就要断我的碗饭钱了，我难免不会不担心。。 这次的决定是上帝要我走的吗？

没有梦想的人生，是没有灵魂的。。

可是这么穷，我要怎么走出明天？

上帝，我不了解现在的困境，

你要我怎么面对？

你总是告诉我，只要相信，答安就会出现。。

八天江南游 ～

上个星期，被着忐忑不安的马航飞到了上海。。

自从马航不幸事件发生后。。我的确对他们失去了所有的信心。。

所以在还没飞到之前，我是有千千万万个不愿意！

还好感谢主的保佑让我们平安的来回两地！

的确这一个八天之旅，让我那乏味的生活带来了许多的精彩之幕。。

旅游就是会为人带来了与众不同的经验，让我们更懂得当地人的生活习俗。。

各界的风土人情真的值得我们去体会。。它与电视机上看到的很不一样！

至少你可以到那儿去吹吹那儿的冷风，感觉那儿的天气，体会当地人的点点滴滴，

没有淹盖的。。不是在拍戏！更可以品尝到道地菜尧，虽然说我们往往都会说都不比我们的美食好吃！ 或许是不同口味吧。。

人生在世短短几十年，如果有能力的话，何不出去走一走，人也精神爽！

我，热爱旅游，绝对没有错。。旦愿上天赐我及我所爱的人们，都拥有健康，都有机会到外面去看一看这美丽的世界！

这个世界其实很美，然而不美的是人心。。世人啊，不要在生病了好不好？每一个人心怀善念，这个世界会很棒！

这次有机会出去走一走，特别要感谢他的爱心捐助！如果有他一起去，会更赞了！

我爱上苏州， 南京， 无锡美女的肌肤， 当地的土产。。

我爱上乌镇的乡春美景， 它是东方Venice，也爱杭州的西湖风景。。

我最爱上海这一个泛华的大城市了。。爱上他们的灯光美景， 爱上他们的体态表演。。爱上他们的热闹之城。。爱上他们的人，事，物，但绝不会爱上他们的服务态度，差劲的很，有点失文化了！

只可惜，有太多太多的东东， 却只有太少的时间。。

下一次吧，我跟上海有约！

文字看累了，让图片让您看看我所看到的美妙世界 ～

Sky Screen at Suzhou

Suzhou's local cuisine

Lotus Garden at Suzhou (is a huge bangolo house resident by a rich&famous man in ancient time)

Suzhou Silk Factory

Sun Yat San Mausoleum at Nanjing

机会是留给懂得珍惜的人！

最近，这个年头发生了很多不幸事件。。

不幸的让人有点不肯相信那是真的。。

说真的，明天还是祸害，哪一个会先到？

命运这回事有时让人很捉摸不透！

人算不如天算。。生命无常啊！

谁会料到原本开心启发的旅程；

却会变成永远都到不了的目的地？

谁会料到原本要去接机；

却收到飞机不见了的残忍事实？

谁会真的会料到原本说的再见；

却再也没得见了？

虽说马路如虎口，

谁又会料到明天死亡车祸的发生？

唉，我感慨。。如果我们都能够entitled没完没了的明天，那该多好呢？

就像平日活泼好动的我，竞然在前天住院了？

生平第一次住院，还要独自一个人睡在一间有五个床位却没有其它病人的房内？

我很害怕，但我得坚强，谁叫我跟钱过不去啊？

还好那个深夜里我有耶稣！阿门！

其实在这段艰难的日子里。。我很庆幸我大部份的朋友及家人都是真的很爱我！

我真的很感恩，有您们真心的陪伴，让我很幸福！

但在我心里最想感谢的人 － 是他，除了父母，他最爱我了！

他是我现代爱情里的英雄，真的很想说，有你真好！！

是你，让我感动了，

是你，让我知道有些爱不必说出口，

却会被深深的扣人心旋！

是你，教会了我，爱不求回报；爱是包容。。

爱是像你爱我这样。。

谢谢你！

遇见你，是我三生有幸！

看上你，是我有好眼光！

被你疼，是我的服气！

我祈求，上帝一定要让你比我长命，

因为有你在，最好！

被点滴插到水肿的手 ( 左 ) vs 原本的右手！

病好了就好，至少我曾经那么勇敢的度过那可怕的夜晚 = ）

ps爱要及时！

勉强没有幸福！

我正很努力的在做我该做的本份，

如果还是无法。。看到那一份该有的幸福。。

我，不会在逗留不走！

我对着一面墙说出太多的心里话，

但到最终，我发现原来我已经自欺欺人，太久了。。

好朋友的宝贝！

我。。我最要好的朋友昨天终于当妈妈了！好消息，我替她紧张，替她痛，替她高兴！是儿子耶！

从小与她一起长大，一路上看着她恋爱，大学毕业，与初恋结婚，看着她当妈了，很是令我羡慕不及！她的一生好象都很顺畅！

真是同人不同命啊！看着姐妹们都很幸福的当人妻，当妈妈了，我在为她们开心的当儿，就突然觉得自己很孤独！

我。。心酸了，我太落伍了。。上帝，你不会就这样让我一个人走到老吧？

看看哪一个姐妹的孩子可以给我当干女儿，干儿子的呢？

离星星还远吗？

自从看完了“来自星星的你”这部电视剧以后，心里多多少少有了很不舍，很孤单的感觉，

只因忽然间可以见到那一颗“星星”的日子不再有，然而从播有很费神的。。所以我难免会有一点失落感。。

我很入戏，所以很害怕看戏，因为往往不能把戏中的完美带入现实时，我很难开心的活着，这一种不好受，会跟着我好一阵子！

这样的一颗星星，叫谁不想拥有？

戏里，他是来自别的星球的，然而他却爱上了活在这个地球的她。。他只剩下一个月就得回去他自己的星球，如果没有的话，他将会消失在这个地球上！但他竞然爱她爱得很深，那女的也很爱他，他们都很相爱着彼此，所以他选择了不走，留在这世上就是要跟她做夫妻！他告诉她，虽然留着会死，但他会尽力的活着去保护她并给她幸福。。。。。。。（看到这里，我已经心疼死了！）

在想，我们人生己不是如此吗？我们人类虽然都没有什么其它的星球可回。。但往往我们每个人所要面对的死亡己不是等于我们总有一天我们将会离开地球，离开所爱的人？很可悲的是，世上虽然没有人会遇测到死亡的来临，也不会为了死亡而生存着。。更不会为了人生的无常更加珍惜！

长大以后的我，开始懂得珍惜，因为见到一个个亲人的离去，就懂得害怕失去的滋味。。我不想带着遗罕离开，这是真的。。也开始去珍惜身边每一位爱我的人！我常在想，再不爱，我们是否会迟了？

当我们都很相爱的时候，我可以很没有妗持的向他提起结婚的大事，但我每一次都是被拒绝收场，心都曾经冷了好几回，但还是选择不死心的死缠烂打，这样的我会令人很讨厌吗？都到了这一把适婚年龄，也拥有了一段长达5年的恋情，难道我说结婚，会是个震憾人心的事实吗？都给长辈们问到倦了，他们都问，还等什么呢？难道我可以说，在等他所谓的“多一年”吗？

我们其实都不知道我们还能够拥有多少个的“多一年”。。我只是开始看见我的青春将要走远，我的爱情是否会开花结果呢？如果你还不清楚能不能给未来一个幸福的答案，我就只能默默祈求上帝的恩赐，让我可以很健全的去等待你那所谓的“多一年” 吧。。

p.s.我不是一个精明的投资家，上帝啊这个股，我还可以握住吗？

The last night of being young at the age of the beautiful 28 ~~

and so tonight gonna be my very last night of being young at this beautiful age of 

28

Although deep down inside me is so much hesitate to leave the beautiful age behind and yet we're only human, and what can I do other than to celebrate my coming years of 29 instead?

The huge SIGH of my age of 28, 1stly, I didn't get to graduate on time (while I supposed to grad, this year!) 2ndly, my marital status remain - single! (while my dream age of getting married is at the age of 28!) oh well, but still life goes on without my dreamS come true! 

The huge CHEERS in my life of 28 years are these following destiny that has colored my life :-

1.) learn to bear with the pain in life and get to accept that sometimes, unfairness happens for us to live in a way that god means us to be;

2.) get to know that testing of faith produces patience;

3.) get to know a few of the nice people that really changes my life;

4.) get to see everything in this world with a wise mind;

5.) get to fully understood that those challenges in life are to make us more stronger, tougher and being a great fighter of victory;

6.) and get to tell the world that I'm no longer a teenager by my mature attitude and serious responsibility held up high upon me;

7.) get to let go and move forward 

8.) care less attitude bring me more happiness instead!

Whatever it is, if time allowed and I'll be having a long list to go on so I better stop here and continue to fulfill the tasks that I haven't manage to secure and mend things right into place!

Last but not least, I shall not forget to take a few of my beautiful pics of 28 as time wont goes backward and picture is always the best silence describer! 

I'm gonna miss you my 28 however I'm welcoming the better 29 of myself too! 

p.s. blessed night, tonight! Thank you 28, u'r beautiful =) 

All my little happiness to be jot down on earth!

and Yeah there are more yet to come..!

See all these loving dovey things below, they indeed melt my heart and thanks to my beautiful guy that have big mercy, tolerance and he truly love me to the bit (ignorance of the fact that I was born to be so bitchy, sumtimes! *sorry dear*)

Despite my countless complains on things and I truly appreciate that he is still putting his effort to mend thing right and created me a surprise in a season of love and I'm very much in loved thn! The surprise I've got on my vday is this --> the whitegold necklace come together with the diamond pendant! This was the gift I'm longing for a "century" I could say and thanks darling, I know u truly love me by heart! *muacks*

Added benefit to the season of love, I was born on the last day of CNY cum Eastern Vday so ahem.. my pressie come after one another and undoubtedly all are sent by my Mr. Right whose name start with the capital R as well *grins* ^^ tadahhhhhh >>>>>

Thank you so so much, word alone couldn't describe how I felt the moment I've received all the loving stuff from you. I wish I could give u more each day, I wish I could spend more time with u and I wish I could be hugging u every second of my life! heh.. After all, I love u and undeniably that U'r one of the guy that really love me and I really never expect someone could pamper me the way I am! Thank you for letting me to be my very self when I am with u!

Huge THANKS to your sincere heart of love and your TOLERANCE! (I know I'm difficult to deal with but trust me I'm on my way of transforming, to become someone BETTER)

mY dreAm bouQuet ~

See this bunch of cash bouquet!! They are way too lovely isn't it? I've dreamed about this for so long yet it is still can never be mine yet! (oh NO!) sob sob..

But it's okay as i'm such a dreamer or kinda a fairy tale believer, I'm holding on my faith that the real day of a cash bouquet will come soon! (I hope..)

Wishing all Happy Valentines cum Happy Chap Goh Meh cum Happy Lunar Birthday to myself!

It's once in a 19 years of time to get this western Valentines to meet with the eastern Valentines so I'll truly cherish this day much more than any other days perhaps!



p.s. I'm looking forward to date with my love one soon tomorrow although there is no special arrangement on the celebration but I'm way too excited to just only meet him and stick close close with him! *grins*
(U've made it alright, after so many years, i'm still that "sticky" to u!)

无言的结局！

好的男人，不需要花费太长的时间去看到他的好；
然而坏的男人，你浪费再多的时间，
他依然不会变好！

保佑它！

你是一路来与我一起长大的好朋友，
感谢你陪我尝了生活中的酸甜苦辣，
懂我的人，你是其中一个，这是我的福气！

虽然今晚，我们都面对了一个生命的无常，
听到那痛苦的呐喊叫人难受！
我知道你很不好受，我何不是也和你一样？
我们都在心里哭泣，但这是一场意外，谁都不想！

我默默祈祷它会平安无事，主求你保佑它，主啊，请你改变这一场悲剧！
我们真的好心疼，我们都不想这样。。
我们好对不起，真的好对不起。。

哎。。。。。。好难过，今晚要怎么过？



p.s 谢谢今晚你特地送来的礼物，
      希望你的好心上帝会被感动，救救那脆弱的小生命！

徘徊

还在原地徘徊，
是我缺乏勇气；
还是我错过了？


p.s 我没有盲目，但我麻木了！

多一年。。

我们还有多少个十年可以去等待？

你说，再等多一年吧。。

我很无奈，但是爱情是双方面的。。

我想我们应该还会有很多个一年吧，只是我们再也回不去那一个青春的岁月！

p.s. 如果直得等待的，请你让我看见希望；要不让我这一年就走！

Ops.. He hasn't propose yet (inspiring by a touching story)

It’s 2014 now! Can’t imagine time do really flies and it means that I’ve been blogging for the freaking 10 years!!

Omg, this blog is indeed my little space of memories that I can dedicate to myself.

Before I could start to blog today, I would like to share a story that really touched my heart! (beware it’s gonna be a long blogging though but pls be patient and finish it) *winks*

“the story begin as a little sweet couple they used to live happily together in a small house, both have stable jobs and incomes and both share and do thing equivalently. The girl used to tell the guy : I wanted to marry you and why don’t u marry me? And the guy used to replied: I still have a lot to do to make my career success and I don’t mean to not marry you, it is just that I’m wanting to create a surprise proposal for u instead of u asking me!’

Hence, the girl though feel disappointed but still she smiles sweetly as usual as she used to be. She is a girl who really have a sweet smile to cheer the people around. One day, this girl requested her boyfriend to accompany her to shop but she got rejected by the guy. As usual, the guy is always busy on his work. It’s ok the cheerful girl knows to find her way out to cheer herself. She went out and shop for 10 set of outfit, shoes and ties. She went home with a satisfied smile and warn the guy that must like what has she bought! The guy looked at her and become stunt and scolded her why would u wanted to waste so much money on this? That girl just smile to the guy and promise that she won’t repeat this the next round and that night itself, the girl told the guy that she is going back to home to accompany her mom because she has some concern over the mom, worried the little brother’s wife might bullied her mom. They cuddling each other and smile sweetly into their dream for the one last night for god knows!

The very next day, the girl went home. After few weeks later, the girl was still not back to the couple’s little house and the guy started to missing this girl and now he could see how much she means to him. He called home and the brother told the guy that the girl has something yet to settle and she will be back soon. However few weeks have passed by and the guy can’t hide his feeling but to say: “I wanted to marry you, please come home!” the girl tears badly but she has finally listen to this as what she wishes for so long. One day morning, the brother gave an emergency call to the guy and ask him to fly home quick and brought him to the hospital and then at this moment, only the guy realized the reason why the girl have left for so long it is just because she has suffered from the stomach cancer, as she was at her last stage that she don’t wish the guy to see her deteriorated condition! The guy then blame himself for not paying enough attention to the girl and didn’t notice that she was actually carry the heavier burden all alone all this while! But everything was too late now.

Few months after the girl has gone to heaven, a letter has posted to the guy’s house and the contents are as such.. “ baby, are u missing me rite now? Yes, u must be. So far, I’ve only seen u cried for once and that was the time I wanna say a break up with u and now I don’t wish to see u cry for me now but I’m selfish enough to need u to remember me for the next 10 years! But you only can take that 10 days in a year to miss me and continue this for the 10 years, please baby. The 10 outfit that I‘ve bought you, is for u to wear it on the day that I‘ve passed away and u wear that outfit to see me. After the 10 years, we promise to forget each other!”

If there is a next life, I promise I wanted to be a healthy baby and be with you for the rest of my life, again!.....”

Till here, I’ve already cry like there is no tomorrow, this story it’s just so touching yet it is so sad! The moral of the story ask us to appreciate the people that we loved and don’t do anything that make yourself regret or it is too late to do something and live the life with regrets.

To be frank, it is just a spark of a moment and I’m feeling so old now!

Still used to remember people used to ask me do you have a boyfriend in 10 years ago? And for those seniors in my family, they used to say, don’t get involve into any boyfriend-girlfriend relationship while you’re still in your studies!

However, time flies and things changed and the seniors changed their words too! These days they used to ask me, when are you going to get married? Are you ready for a marriage yet (marriage include household, raising child, biggest responsibility and a lifetime commitment)? What are you waiting for?

Yes, perhaps I’m indeed waiting for something, for that something called: “proposal”!

A marriage is mean to be a once in a lifetime thing and I’m not going to surrender that easily to a guy who don’t appreciate this. If you really love me and u’r ready to commit yourself into a lifetime’s commitment, please come to propose and I’m sure I’ll lock for my heart in a safe for you to keep it forever, and the pre-condition must be, your vows, your promises to keep my heart in good shape till the end of my life =) and I’ll do the same to u in return! (I’m sorry I’m living in a fairytale still, but marriage is once a lifetime thing, can’t you make this sweet for the sake of keeping it as a memorable memory for us both?)

Ironically, if a guy that don’t carry the gut to make a proposal, he seemed to be not ready yet and why should I pressure him all over again and again? How true, that they say age doesn’t matter in a marriage? But I’ve always asked myself how long more could I wait? I don’t know. I’m sure the lord will make a way for sure!

Out of so many people who have asked this Q that when do I want to get married? This guy who used to say he loved me used to ask me very frequently! What the heck? Oh well, he is the history today, for me, he just wanted to make sure that I’ve married to someone who I really can counted for. I thank you for his generous heart and his blessings as well. Perhaps, do give me sometimes, I’ll proved to you that I’m blessed with gifted fate! However, each time you asked, it hurts a bit though, so please blessed me and don’t ask again and I’ll definitely get to be with my Mr. Right soon with your abundant of blessings!

p.s. if I ever touched your heart please air out before it is too late. And yeah I promise to love you the moment I still have my breath =) I have never be a rich people in my life but by having you, is my big treasure and I’m the richest people in the world!

p.s. I love you.