End of Year 2008

Today is the very last day of the year of 2008. Force myself to say goodbye to year 2008 and welcome the ‘moo moo’ year with all my excited heart!

Actually it is not so but it is because it’s a new year and we all are hoping for a new beginning and I am here to force myself to be happy and to start all over again? In every one of us, we would like to make the beginning with the wonderful smile and consider it as a good start ahead. I just can’t bother much about how will it goes the coming year of ‘moo moo’ but I guess I will never give up on things that I want it to be done!

Come to think about it, time has passed really fast, it speeds up and I’ve been left behind all alone. Only realized that I am still posing a broken heart when I’ve came across this ‘lovie’ blogspot (she is someone that I don’t know but a friend of one of my friend). I always know that I am not the only one who has suffered from the past and thus I have no complaint. By seeing people’s wound and it reminds me of mine! I never really wanna care more but does it mean that I am trying to escape from things? It’s like when someone pours salt on your wound, and you will still feel the pains isn’t it? Yes, I feel the pain deep inside still but I no longer ask ‘why’ anymore.

Anyway, throw away all the sadness which I don’t wish to carry forward to year 2009 and welcome the New Year with all sorts of hopes and dreams and be done with it.

Year 2008 – a memorable year to remember yet it is time to leave? Byebye 2008 and hello 2009!

Welcome back to Kl?

Finally I’m back here in KL. I don’t feel excited like I used to do during the past two years and now I feel so scared to have back here alone. Because I know I am nobody here and I’m tired to have fight here all alone. I feel so reluctance to come back yet I have to be a responsible girl since I’ve the working commitment here. Just feeling so down, I miss the island, miss the peoples there and more importantly I am always not alone there. But come back to the sad place like this, I have to work it out all alone again. It sucks to have come back to a place that doesn't belong to u.. :'( Only if u been to this kind of position and u will know how is it feels like. *sigh*

Bad day as I don’t share a good mood, bus driver was crazily stop by at the petrol station for 1 hour long and delay our journey. The seat place was so fucking narrow and I can’t bend down my seat to have a good rest on the bus. When I arrived, I need to carry along my ‘not so heavy’ luggage. I thought it was not heavy until I have to walk for so far only I realized actually for my dwarf size, it’s heavier for me. Sigh. I learn not to trouble peoples anymore and it’s very tough to have help up myself for this. Come to think about it, I really felt so thankful when parrot was there for me during the past two years and helped me to bear all the unbearable things together. I would really wanna thank him for this.

At night, after dinner, I felt a little bit of gastric pain who know it ends up turned to become diarrheoa! Yes, that’s all for my night, kept running toilet in and out and a sleepless night I had. I’m having diarrheoa still *ache*

Between thanks for those who really care, your words of touch do really keep me alive!

Best gift ever from the Father above~

I’ve got a best gift for this Christmas! That’s the health of my grandma! Thanks god that she is getting well and started to remember things and most importantly she remembers me now!

Yea, I’m gonna see her very soon, tomorrow!

Thanks god for the good gift and I would love this Christmas very much!

Wishing all of you a very blessed Christmas, be merry and enjoy!

I'm sick 'o - lady'

I’m very sick

Recent health of mine getting bad and I felt so weak at times.

There’s headache, backache and heartache.

There’s so much pain inside. If I were to bear it, I will have to bear it.

I’m feeling very sick this time and I’ll keep my prayers.

This quote has been popped up on my mind that ‘It’s not that I’m afraid to die, it is that if I die, who will love you as I do.’

*big sigh* I’m sick already. :’(

Prayer for her

Dear lord, I know you hear us and you will heal her.

I’m sorry that I can’t hold my tears and being so emo at times and make the peoples around me worried.

But it’s kinda heartache to have known that the person who used to love you so much happened to have forgotten you! I know this is not what she wants. I feel sad to see her like that.

I prayed that she would recover soon and recognized her beloved grand-daughter and family!

I love her, yes, I do really love her! I realized it at the very moment when I shed my tears.. Only then I know how much love I have for her and how much pain inside.

Can’t wait to see her..

Let’s pray for her!

In the mood of X'mas~

Yea.. I started to count fingers and count down for the day of the coming warm Christmas! I love this festive season the most during the year! *shout for the joys* - Hooray! Yes, I'm in the mood of Christmas already!

9 days more to x’mas, 8 days more to the eve, 7 days more to go home, 5 days more to work then holiday loo – H0ooRayY! I’m very excited though I can’t explain why but I’m very much in love with Christmas! Yes, I’m a Christian who was very much into this festive season. I enjoyed exchanging presents and the time spending on buying x’mas gifts! Thanks for the friends who accompany me for hunted down those gifts during these two weeks! Oh yea, currently broke =( but it’s ok, I’m very the happy to have celebrate the special day such as this and it’s only once in a year! Gaaa.. I’m not gonna miss it, no way kay?!1stly the cute ginger man and da ginger man biscuit!Hand & Body lotion and creams and candle from Marks and Spencer.The reed diffuser from Lovely Lace.

The skin care gift set from Sasa.

The delicious durian jam from Country's Tid-Bits & Candies Cottage and the raspberry jam from Mark & Spencer.

Magical ball inside? instead a surprise that wait 2b revealed!

See these are all the outcome of ma x’mas present to be given out! I’m horrible I know! LoL.. but I knew that I’m gonna earn back the following month! (hey, CNY coming la wei.. or wat do u think huh?) hehehe..

But where is mine for this festive season? Wowo.. is my ‘moo moo’ on the way? *I’m doubt* Santa Claus, do u hear me?

Ah ha.. btw, I’ve got so many dates on that day alone but I’m very sorry for those that I couldn’t make it cause I cannot split myself into two, so might leave it to you guys on 26,27 and 28? I’ve got an important date on the eve and for 25^th night might leave it for my lovely family, relatives and friends. *kind of show-off?* Hehe.. I’m just being too excited and that’s it lar!

I’ve found this meaningful song especially dedicated for myself throughout the year I’ve get over it and yet I would like to share it here with all for the song! For those who are still feeling sad over your past, please be a man and do the right thing, as long as u’ve done your best, then no regret and da rest is up to them, if they choose to ignore, their lost okay? So love yourself 1^st before anyone else! =) Between, don’t worry about me and I promised you’ll see me smile when you get to see me soon!

~Last Christmas~

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone... special
Halalalala-Halalalala-Halalalala-Halalalala

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well
It's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
Happy Christmas,
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you"
I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

[Chorus]
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special (Special)
Halalalala-Halalalala-Halalalala-Halalalala
(yeah e yeah)

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face, a lover with a fire in her heart
A man under cover but
You tore me apart, ooo-ooo
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

[Chorus]
Last Christmas(last christmas)
I gave you my heart (I gave you my heart)
But the very next day, you gave it away (You gave it away)
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
(I'll give it to someone)

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart(I gave u my heart but the very next day)
But the very next day, you gave it away (You gave it away)
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone... special
(Last christmas, last christmas)
I'll give it to someone... special
Halalalala-Halalalala-Halalalala-Halalalala

My kind lady ~

Yea, I’m very glad that I do own a friend who is very kind-hearted that she touched me by her very generous kindful act of love!

Yes, just in case if you were wondering how was my weekend and then all here you are! Indeed, I had a wonderful, great, nice and a fun weekend together with her and them! I am truly appreciated that I always have these nice peoples around. Without them, I wouldn’t smile like I should for now! *thanks*

I still remembered while others are still having fun and I need to work and study. But weekend definitely for me to reward myself and to enjoy to the fullest whenever I can. With the companion of these angels around, I would really enjoy myself and nothing to worry about. No fight, no tears, no worries and I could proudly say so that I enjoyed my ‘single’ life here! ‘Burden’ flew away and I m feeling much lighter now! I would say I’ll still be loving the one I used to love but then no more drama anymore, if he get it then he will get it; if he don’t then he don’t deserve me? *grins*

Oh well, come back to this kind-hearted babe! She is the heroine in my heart! You know what, there’s this old skinny lady that walked to us when we were having our lunch at the food court. She was asking for RM2 to get herself a lunch! She told us that she was indeed very hungry and that time, both of us were kinda shocked by the asking and we did looked at each other for a second and without hesitation, we decide to give away the RM2~ (ofcuz from her pocket for da money)

Deep inside us thinking that what a poor lady such as dis? She wouldn’t want to cheat us by just RM2 isn’t it? Yea, she in fact, didn’t cheat on us and just right after she got da money, she went to da nearer food stall to buy da mixed rice. But poor lady never knew that the food here is quite expensive even da mixed rice stall alone will cost us up to the minimum of RM6 or 7! Poor hell, she did not know about that and she is trying to get herself a plate of rice plus dishes with the small value of RM2?!

The thing that makes us very upset was when the seller know that she only have RM2 with her, they stop serving her and there’s my dis wonderful friend who walked towards to the stall and ask them to take whatever dishes that this old lady wants and she will pay for it! Then only they serve! Very upset with this kind of peoples, ask yourself sincerely how much would the old poor lady cost you while you were having so many customer in a day?

At the payment counter, the cashier still haven’t manage to see properly about da dishes taken, da old lady went off slowly but the cashier shouted and count to the fullest amount and this little plate of rice cost my friend for RM8.40! They are really heartless one I could say so. Everything that da old lady takes for only half and not much (da old lady is not greedy) but da price never less!

When my friend was about to pay for her, dis old poor lady return her da RM2 and ofcuz my friend didn’t take. Then dis poor lady come to me and say again ‘thank you’! Both of us were about to tears, she’s such a pitiful old skinny lady! We’re melting that way and we felt bitter deep inside! I realized my friend couldn’t smile at all after that and stupid me go and ask again for da stupid Q! I thought she could feel happy after helping peoples but I don’t see smile on her face. In fact, she is feeling much more pity on that poor lady that make her can’t smile anymore and not that she is not happy to help!

We really don’t know what happened to dis poor lady but then we were wondering why is she here at the expensive mall? Anyway, don’t feel like to think further for that, as long as we can help, we will do ;) (but do it wisely as there’s many outside that don’t deserve it?) It’s up to u to think. But for us, if we didn’t help, we will feel guilty. So it’s better for us to help whenever we are able to! Even if for those who have intention to cheat, evil on them and god will punish. And for most of the kind-hearted person, we get fooled b4 isn’t it? Yet, don’t get me wrong, I do not ask you not to be kind huh? =) For those kind ones out there, your rewards are coming! So just be patient. My kind lady, I m definitely proud of you and you touched me that way! *joyous tears*

You got fooled and you learn and if you were to be the kind-hearted ones, God will surely rewards you!

Heart attacked!

Yesterday night there’s the horrible attack on my heart again! Yes, again! Due to the overdue pressures and stuffs, I’ve suffered from this severe pain in the heart. This had happened few years ago and recently it came back to me again!

I used to suffered heartache (I guess lots of peoples went thru this as well?) whenever I feel pressured or too upset. Yes, in fact, if I am sad, I am not only psychologically heartache but me physically heart pain too. I used to have the weak heart together with me for these so many years yet I don’t take good care of it. Normally, I used to take that kind of lightly attack on my heart, a little bit pain and I won’t complain and I always think that’s the pressure which caused it pains. They said this might be inheritance and I don’t deny it to be partly true as few of them in my family they had suffered it too. It’s the heart attack symbol that I never want it to be true!

Come to think about it that was really a horrible night for me! I’ve found myself laid down on the bed and I couldn’t move my body or even just have a light pull on my pillow, I failed to do it! I’ve totally lost my strength to do anything and it’s on the middle of the night while my aunt was sleeping. I’ve tried to wake up from the bed but that kind of severe force fall on so tightly towards my heart that I couldn’t stand to resist! I had been suffered for this for few hours and I slowly fell asleep. I prayed to god and all I know is I’ll be fine the next day when I wake up.

Yes, I was indeed fine in the morning but I can feel the weak beats inside. It caused me so energy-less to have walked so long to and back from work. I felt very tired after the long staircase this time. Am I in the mist of trouble this time? I hope I don’t and yes, I’ll go for a medical check-up soon.

I’ve tried to make myself cheer but I can never force myself to be happy though. There are few of my angel friends who tried to cheer me yet I didn’t manage to help myself to go through the tougher period as such. I’m so lousy that I’ve made myself so poor thing. I don’t wish to be like that! I’m very sorry. I could no longer hold like this anymore and I don’t want to know more.

My little thing - part2 ( He has a partner already!)

That day I promised to pair them up and here they are! Ah ha, I was the cupid! It’s ok sometimes to just see peoples happy because if the one u love is happy, it’s undeniable that you will be happy too. You know is love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you are not part of their happiness.

No doubt, he is my little thing, my favorite as well! Yea, still remembered the blue shell tortoise? Yea, he is the one I am talking here! (hehe.. don’t go too far guys) Oh well, let me introduce the beauty here today, nah, here she is! See below, how adorable she can be! So ‘eye-catchy’ ya? *grins*
They are ever the perfect match that I could make! Lol, I am the owner of these two little cute pets! I love them, yea I do! See how lovely they can be now? They are not lonely with the other one always there for each other!

Somehow I feel jealous but it’s ok I believe I can be like them too some day in the future. It’s okay for me to take my own sweet time to have met my so called ‘Mr. Right’! *no rush ya!* The best is yet to come and I always believed that good things won't come in such a rush! *sabar x2*

612 Earth

In a garden of roses,
I thought I've found mine!
I love it truthfully, yet it pricked both my hands.
Blame anyone is useless;
All roses are red,
It's easy to see wrongly sometimes.

Look at the sky,
is love exists only in fairy tales?
The little prince said,
there's something you need to experience before you can understand.

Originally every heart has a hole,
being unable to find true love, becoming lonely forever.
But I wish for someone who is waiting for me,
that belongs to my Planet 612.

Even if i have to endure with lots of pain,
I'm willing to walk forward.
Even if I'm not happy at least I must have dreams.
There must be someone waiting for me,
waiting to embrace all that I've got with no strings attached.

How many massifs must I overcome before we meet?
Hope that the flowers don't die too quickly,
please wait for me..
Wiping off the tears I see myself alone floating in this universe!

The little prince said that love must be hidden at some corner
but on the road there's so many loving couple!
Will I ever be happy?
When will it be my turn?
When will the blissfulness drop on me?

I've got this little small thing with me!

Yeah, I was so hungry just now before my lunch time, but then the lunch was sucked and it disappointed me that it looked so good but never taste so yummy! See the picture below,

Trust me, never go back to that shop again! You know what, they put a lot of ‘ajinomoto’ on the chicken chop itself! How can you imagine I was so hungry at that time and I couldn’t have a proper healthy meal! *pissed off* I almost vomit on the table alone, it’s terrible you know, it taste not only salty but very weird like not fresh? Or I don’t know how to describe but it’s the effect of the MSG added too much, yes, TOO MUCH!

Oh well, luckily got this little thingy to cheer me up after the ‘unfortunate’ event! While I was on my way back to the office, I saw this little kid’s favorite – the toy machine? Sort of la, still remember your childhood time that is this machine always cheers our days up? Yea, kids’ favorite! We were all kids before isn’t it? There was this machine that we need to put coins (RM0.50x2) then twist the button of the machine and the plastic egg will come out from the hole of the machine! Yes, I definitely miss this during my childhood times! Last time used to be so cheap and I was freaking shocked that this one also cost me RM1 per egg! Of course I need to know what kind of thingy inside the egg first before I ‘invest’ to the so called machine! (Hey, I m no longer a kid and I wouldn’t be attracted by this kind of stupid machine although they are cheap) but then there’s my little tortoises on offered! Awww, how lovely they are! There is for sure that you will definitely get the tortoise in the egg, not tricky or cheated peoples like some of the other machines do. I was so excited at that moment and it is super duper cheap la! Outside, one of these tortoise cost at least RM4.90 to RM6.90! Oh my dear, it worth the deal! I can’t wait to have one! And finally here it is! See.. how lovely a small little tiny tortoise can be? It just melt my heart that way.. =)

See! The small little tiny ones look so innocent! *irresistible*

See again, it is smiling to us! *lovely*

Look! It’s so small in size but it makes my day!

Yea, just like that it makes me smile and cheer me up for the day! Now I have put it on my notice board there in the office!

Hmm, I might get another one on tomorrow to make them a pair so that they won’t feel so lonely! Hehe.. I’ve got the male one now because it is blue in color! I hope I can get the pink one tomorrow which would be the female one instead! *grins*

Another happy day that booed me away from sickness and my progress is good too! *winks*

I speak mandarin and I read Chinese! ;-)

It was a busy morning that I’ll have to rush to a place to settle some of my personal stuffs. Coincidently whenever you were busy, a lot of troubles will come along as well. Oh well, that’s life! =)

Just when I was waiting for the train, this call came! I don’t remember the number so I have no idea who is she until she introduced herself then only I got her! She’s our client Mrs. Chia! Yes, she speaks mandarin and in a very nervous tone that she asked where is the lawyer (who is my boss)? She was kinda panic cause 15 mins more to go for the representation and yet the VIP is still haven’t arrive! Hoo.. he’s always cool and becuz of this, I’ve assured the lady calmly and confidently that the lawyer will reach soon so you just have to stay calm and wait for his call! Ofcuz, after that I need to do something isn’t it? Ah ha.. I called the big boss and make sure he is safe and on time to the destination! And yes, he picked up the call and said he is on his way and arriving soon! I called back to the ‘panic’ lady and re-assured her that everything is alright and he is soon to arrive! Well, everything seemed work smoothly on its way.

Kay, so then I continue my task and my short trip to my destination and go ahead with my things! (ah ha, I curi tulang during the working hours?) Lol, I am not, it just sounds like as if I am but I’m seriously not! But then there’s a reason why! (I’m not gonna tell here.. hehe) When I almost finish my stuff, that’s this call came again! Yes, from the so called ‘panic’ woman again! This time, she even more nervous then previous cause my boss still haven’t arrive yet and it’s already 10a.m now! But hey, I’m matured enuf to handle things like this! *ahem* when someone is so panic, you better don’t mess things up and by making yourself panic too! So here I was to calm her and tell her that everything will be fine and he’s indeed on his way. Maybe due to the traffic issue that can’t make him reach on time. Luckily the panic woman is not stubborn (yes, she do the right thing by listening to people when she is so panic becuz she has lost her mind to think well) and she listen to me and stay calm.

I called again but he never pick up so I assumed he is driving still so I don’t disturb him. I continue on my own stuff, have a quick glance on those beautiful stuffs in shops and hunt for some x’mas presents! (while I still have my little time here and there and I did this) what people usually says ‘fully utilised’? =D

It was 11a.m now and here I got her, yes the nervous one sms me again!(cuz she ady feel malu to call me up for so many times, I understand that) I was really shocked this time that he’s still haven’t there! Oh my, I started to feel worried so I make my calls again and again and he never pick up! Yoh, this fella really make ppl worried is true! >.<” I mean WTH? It’s ady 11am now and the representation start at 930am! Something bad popped up on my mind which I never wish it 2b true! After few of the sms between me and the lady, thanks god here he called! Please ignore all my nonsense and the representation has been cancelled at the last minute and he never informs us! Awww.. I wanna ‘cekik’ him! (but ofcuz I couldn’t do that isn’t it? *jkjk*) Soon after the incident, they get to talk to each other and everything back to normal!

After the incident, I feel so very thankful to my lovely parent cuz they’ve sent me to Chinese school! This time, it benefits me alot! You know what, the lady sms in Chinese! I always have difficulty to type in Chinese when it comes to sms thingy (shame to say so) and so I replied in English and as simple as I can! God blessed that she reads English! But I just don’t understand why she does not reply in English! We sms-ing cause for my side, m out of credit but m not too sure about her. After few of the sms session, I’m glad that I read Chinese and I speak mandarin too! I’m so blessed that I am not a ‘banana’! *evil grins* I’m proud of myself for contributing a little to the panic situation this morning and I did the right thing by not being an emo!

Ops, last but not least, I saw this super cute soft toy - ‘moo moo’ (yes, my fav!) hanging up there while I was hunted for the x’mas gift! Aww.. 'she' is so sweet, 'she' is so cute, 'she' is so irresistible!! However, 'she' makes me feel so very pain inside that she’s so damn expensive that I couldn’t bring 'her' home! How I wish I could have ‘her’ in my lovely room! >.<” *work hard & pray hard*

Yea, so what’s the best x’mas present in town for this season?

No.2 and the wakeup call ~

Today is the 2^nd day on the last month of the year! Huh? It’s almost come to an end of the year of 2008! What have I been doing? I’ve been ‘slept’ for so long? Thanks god that now I’ve ‘wake up’ and it’s never too late to have wake up now isn’t it?(it’s better than I not wake up at all) I’m feeling better right now! Heart beats back to normal and the pressure from inside started to stable down. Thanks lord for his good blessing that I has finally get well a bit. To have keeps myself cheer a bit it would have helps a lot in the healing up process. Well, don’t worry, I’m awake now and I’m alive still! =D

Just when I thought I would sleep forever just like that, the so called ‘wakeup’ call came! I thought I would be the forever sleeping beauty there for the rest of my life but sadly I m not the beauty in reality, ahem, so I’ll have to wake up? *giggle*

My dear all miss me that they can’t wait to see me to have ‘wake up’ soon and the sleeping beast so damn lousy that she makes everyone of them disappointed. She don’t gives a damn and make peoples out there worried! *sorry guys* that’s this call that she has finally woke up from! Who’s the one who summon for the call? Ah hey, does it matter? However, this dude save her life and breaks the horrible dreams in her sleep!

I’ve never been peoples (I mean esp for those who I care and love the most) No.1 even for my parents, since young I was always the no.2! Ironically, for those who I don’t really care, they put me 1^st! Yea, I’m sorry I have to admit that I was blindly in love before and I’ve neglect the peoples around me who do really care! I’m sorry that I’ve forgotten that it is you guys that bring music in and dance together with me whenever I need ones! When troubles come, good friends come along! I was so neglected before and I promise I won’t anymore now on. Peoples, I’m so sorry!

Dude, thanks for the wakeup call and I’ve digest all your useful + helpful words and I started to do it for my own sake! Yes, today onwards, start to love myself! If I don’t love myself and I am not qualified to love anyone else! Last but not least, thanks for letting me know that I am not so no.2! =) you’re the best and you never fail me! *thankful* (still remember we used to tell each other ‘have you ever know that you’re the best?’)

Yea, I admit I will have to take time to make myself ‘clear’ after a long sleep. If I ever ‘fall asleep’ again, please do tight slap me! (which I know you will) hehe.. I’ll remember the lesson of my life, work hard and never give up and we will soon meet and cheer at the top right? *close eyes and cross fingers* count for the days and way to success!

Hey, after all, I’m back! *grins*