Dear Lord please take away my tears..

It’s coming to an end of the year… still left one more day to the coming year of 2008! Should I be excited though? No! I love year 2007! Seriously I feel so reluctant that year 2007 is coming to an end! My beautiful love story begun here at the beginning of the year of 2007, beside I got my good result at the beginning of the year as well, in addition, that’s my new life here in KL for the year! Sadly to say that I've left my family and came here all alone to further my studies (i miss home all the time - home sick) but god is so good, blessed me with another happy family here… I feel like home at that time!

Everything seems quite well managed, settled for the beginning of the year. Everything looks so peacefully and joyfully. Sincerely, I m very happy with my new life and new beginning here, I thought I was so blessed! What I thought is just I was so blessed!!! But am I really blessed? Howcome when year end come, everything that I owned come to an end as well? My dear lord, why u need to take all this away when the year is going to an end? Why I left with all these pains after the beautiful things that bless me?

I feel the pain with every heart beats, inside I m dying piece by piece… Dear lord, can you please take away my tears? I need you right now to heal my broken heart. I m dying soon cause my heart is bleeding. It’s so hurtful to get breath… every second I breath, I hurt the wound of my broken heart. God, please tell me how long could I still holding on like this? I don’t want to face the world with my tearful face, I just cannot survive with tears every nights, I just feel so reluctant to wake up every morning cause I know I m going to miss him like crazy! This kind of feeling suck! I feel like hell! I messed my mind and my world too!

Fate have brought us together at the beginning of the year and dumped us somewhere else at the end of the year… The moment I know that I might be losing him forever, I just feel so helpless… I know I can’t live happily ever after… my one and only love is leaving!!!It’s breaking my heart… it’s torn me apart! My heart keep bleeding but there is no one know… Lord, now only you can save me. I’m falling so helplessly, it’s true! I had never been falling so much in love before, I never love someone so much before, I never wanted someone so much before… but why this time? Why him? And why me? Is this a joke from the sacred cupid? Howcome a beautiful story that can beat us down into the hell?

Those beautiful and sweet memories that left us painfulness make us feel like hell! We got no more faith in love and now I truly understand love is suck! We need to carry on without each other when our love is still there… what’s the hell is this? Lord, can you please tell me a perfect match from heaven wasn’t a fool from the cupid? Sob… sob… we feel so bad, we feel so sad, we just can’t help ourselves… I rather there’s no such match before! Dear Cupid, please look at us now! What have you done on us? Is this the result you wanna see? Is this the way you wanna us to be?

My dear lord, I just don’t want to live like this anymore, it’s very suffering and torturing! Can you please do me a favor? Take my pains away and give me back my life… what bad things had I done until I need to suffer like this? Dear lord, please forgive me and take away my sins. Dear lord, please bless him too, please help me to heal his broken heart and give him back his life… I want him to be happy! Please bring him back his smile on his face like the 1st day I met him, he deserve to live a better life and his smile can cheer the world, its true =)

Lord, please hear us and answer us… I prayed in the name of Jesus, amen.

Un-break My Heart

Dont leave me in all this pain
Dont leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now

The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heartSay youll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights

Un-break my heartMy heart
Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Dont leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I cant forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heartSay youll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tearsI cried so many nights

Un-break my heartMy heart
Dont leave me in all this pain
Dont leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heartSay youll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tearsI cried so many, many nights
Un-break myheart

Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heartSweet darlin
Without you I just cant go on
Cant go on

被遗弃的心去了哪里？

上帝，我是真的累了。。一个人活着，怎么可以没有了 ‘心’？

很爱一个人，为什么告诉他之后会为他造成困扰？
从前都很单纯的认为，只要互相爱，就不会分离。。
但如今才体会。。 ‘爱’ 并不简单！
如果说我爱他， 会为他带来辛苦而不是幸福的话。。我是不是应该保持沉默？
相爱，却害怕被伤害的感觉好矛盾。。好折磨。。好遗憾！

其实当我们很爱很爱一个人的时候，就不会去在乎会不会受到任何的伤害。。听说过吗 ‘爱情是盲目’ 的。。 能够很理智的就不是爱情；但感性的爱情往往却让人冲昏了头都无法自拔！
我好心疼看着自己心爱的人离我而去。。都怪自己当初爱得不够明显。。
说真的，我一直以来都这么爱着他。。没有一秒是不爱他的。。我是真的真的好爱他！
如果不是的话，我就不会那么执著。。也不会那么辛苦！

我相信在这个世界上再也没有人可以让我爱得那么深。。失去他会是我人生最大的遗憾！而人生最害怕的是有遗憾！要是不是他，我谁都不爱！就算爱，也没有任何义意了。。不想再伤害其它的人，也不想再被伤害！

当我们很爱很爱一个人的时候，就得付出很大的代价！就算是伤痕累累，我都要一次爱个够！只要可以跟最爱的人在一起，一却的牺牲都是值得的！
我真的不会去在乎别人会怎么看待我。。但最重要的是我知道我那一颗真诚的心要的是什么！我要的幸福，就只有我自己可以去保管。。谁也阻止不了！包括我自己在内。。我阻止不了住在我身体里面的那一颗心不去不爱他！

好想好好爱他。。但如今已经不可再紧紧的抱着他。。告诉他，我是真的真的好爱他！因为不想再给他任何的负担。。不想再看到他心疼的模样。。不想再为难他。。如果他也很爱我，我相信他是会感觉得到我对他的那一份永恒不朽的爱！

上帝，但愿您保佑我们！相爱的人原本就应该在一起不是吗？

* The Tide is High *

The tide is high
But I'm holding on
I'm gonna be your number one
I'm not the kinda girl Who gives up just like that (Oh no)

It's not the things you do
That tease and hurt me bad
But it's the way you do the things
You do to me
I'm not the kinda girl Who gives up just like that *Oh no*

The tide is high
But I'm holding on
I'm gonna be your number one
The tide is high
But I'm holding on
I'm gonna be your number one

number one
number one

Every girl wants You to be her man
But I'll wait my dear 'Til it's my turn
I'm not the kinda girl Who gives up just like that Oh no
The tide is high
But I'm holding on
I'm gonna be your number one

The tide is high
But I'm holding on
I'm gonna be your number one

number one
number one

Every time that I get the feeling
You give me something to believe in
Every time that I got you near me
I don't believe that I want it to be
But you know that I'm gonna take my chance now
I'm gonna make it happen somehow
And you know I can take the pressure
A moment's pain for a lifetime pleasure

Every girl wants you to be her man
But I'll wait right here
'Til it's my turn
I'm not the kinda girl Who gives up just like that Oh no

The tide is high
But I'm holding on
I'm gonna be your number one

The tide is high
But I'm holding on
I'm gonna be your number one

Every time that I get the feeling
You give me something to believe in
Every time that I got you near me
I don't believe that I want it to be
But you know that I'm gonna take my chance now
I'm gonna make it happen somehow
And you know I can take the pressure
A moment's pain for a lifetime pleasure

~ w0nDeRinG ~

Why things just happened in such an unexpected way?

I m still wondering why?!

Why we can miss each other so much in the morning and then come to an end for our love in the evening?

Why things just can change so fast without notifying me?
Am I the only silly here who keep waiting, who can’t let go? Who got no guts to face the fact?
How could I let go the one that I love so much?

Why love brings us so much of hurt?
Why need to be so tough to be with someone that we love?
Why a loving couple could just change overnight and become stranger the next day?

Why am I missing him so much?
He’s the best of all!
And
I m losing my treasure right now!
I m losing someone that I wanted so much!
I m losing.. I m losing..

He’s my everything..
I miss him..
I miss him a lot!

Does he know about this?
Does he do the same too?
I’ m wondering!

It's breaking apart !

Today is 15! Both of us know what’s a day is this! But none of us will expect something bad might happen on this day ,this month! I feel so heart breaken at that moment I knew the“cruel truth” from u and it was so clear and obvious!i’m sorry that I couldn’t hold my tears and that’s annoyed u!i’m so sorry that I m such an useless crying babe..i hate myself!

I seriously hurt to the ultimate but still I love u so! my love to u will never change just because of the cruelest truth! I’m sick man! It’s fucking hurt to hear those! But why am i still can’t die heart? Izzit my love for u can forgive and cover on everything bad that u said n did to me? I guess so! Orelse I won’t be still loving u like hell!

Yes, I rather be the stupid one to love u forever!yes, I admit I m just a stupid fool in ur eyes but I just don’t care whether I m such a silly girl for u or not.. I just don’t care!i just don’t give a damn shit on this! I’m very determined because I really know who I love the most and u happened to be the one! Please don’t blame me on this.. I just can’t control my feeling!u know that I really love u and I just can’t let go someone that I love so much all this whilst! It’s the hardest thing to let go the one that u really love.. please don’t ask me to go.. :’(

No matter what, I’ll still be right here waiting! Until the day u want me back, u’r most welcome! There’s no1 else but it’s ONLY you that I want so much.. it’s only you that I want to be with forever! My dear, I really love u very much! My commitment never change since the day I gave out! I truly mean it! I truly do..

小时候的自己，长大后还会是同一个人吗？

小时候很开心的自己去了哪？长大后怎么就开心不起来了呢？
是什么时候又老病复发了？怎么又再笑不起来了？怎么内心又再闷闷不乐了呢？
脑常对心说：“你不寂寞，你应该开心才对啊！”
心在想怎么也说服得了自己开心起来。。对开心这个字突然好陌生。。开心这回事有应该不应该的吗？ 或是对不对的吗？我想开心是很自然的感觉吧！开心就开心，不开心又何必自欺欺人呢？

还记得小时候无忧无绿的童年吗？嘻！当然记得啦！那时候的我们都好开心！爸爸常常牵着我的小手，妈妈则牵着弟弟的小手。。这儿走，那儿逛的。。还拍了好多的照片呢！拍照时，爸妈都要我与弟手互放在彼此的肩上，以示互相爱护！有谁的父母不希望见到自己的儿女相亲相爱呢？
虽然童年是开心的，但我们的童年都比别人多了一份忧绿！或许是这样子吧。。我们都在很小很小的时候学会了坚强，也更懂事！感谢上天，我从没后悔过。。或许这样，我们才会变得更完美！嘻。。
说啊说的。。我又再很想念他们了！好像好久没回家了。。我是真的真的很想念他们啊！他们到底知不知道我正在想他们呢？我不会告诉他们我有多想他们，因为这样子，他们会很心疼的。。当你想念却又看不见，摸不着所想念的人时，可说是件很辛苦。。很心疼的感觉！

一个人的快乐

最近。。老是觉得自己一个人在开心。。这己不是件好事吗？
好事。。快乐当然是件好事。。 但我似乎快乐得好孤寂！一个人的快乐并不很完美。。
一个人真的可以活得很精彩吗？
有他的陪伴，我不寂寞！
但可悲的是，心灵上的孤寂是任何人也陪不了的事情！有时候在想，或许有狗狗的陪伴方才能决觉掉我这麻烦人的寂寞。。嘻！

raining day - rainbow is coming!

i noe my "appearance" this time instead a surprise for u guys.. i noe i been lost for almost a year but hey after all i m still alive! hehehee.. *cheeky* me still..
why hv i been missing for all this whilst? erm, in fact da word "missing" couldn't fit da description.. i should be adopt da word "stopping".. why am i been stopping to blog for this period? almost a year summore! ha.. it's actually a long story.. maybe i m lazy.. maybe too much happy moments keep occuring (those who noe me shall noe tht i got less to write whenever i m too excited! LoL ) watever la.. it's a long story.. i m not going to put myself there! keke..

why care so much? after all i m here wat.. rite? no matter wat, i realize 1 thing, i still pose da same habit --> blogging!da soul that never want to sleep when midnite come, da one who used to blog at midnite!!woohooo.. sigh~ talkative(positive side) + complicated thinking (negative side) = cheer nut & crying babe! a totally brand new look but still the same old me! hooray!

ops.. i'm sorry.. a bit abnormal on rainy day, mood swing up and down..up and down.. though abit excited.. abit lost direction.. abit depress.. abit crazy.. but plz let me be my very ownself, i would appreciate this alot! *grins*

next blog coming soon after finish da so called "report" - why am i been MISSING for a not too short & not too long period! ~cheer cheer~