最珍貴的角落 (讚美之泉)

Grandma is finally gone back to the island

I was down, yes, I’m down still..

Suddenly the house becomes so empty and quiet and I’m feeling extremely lonely and thus I’m sad to the nowhere I could describe but truly heart breaks!

I miss grandma, I miss them! It is so shitty to have live alone. I don’t like to be alone! No matter how much I hate the situation, I need to be in. That is life. I can only blame nuts!

Straight after sending them off, I 1^st sms to someone special but he was not free for me. Hence I’ve call to my close friend and started all my pains and tears. Once I expressed with words, the tears dropped. I felt so much bitter to have stayed alone. Missing someone is killing me. I feel so much reluctance to let them go. I wish I could have more options to be chosen from.

I called my mom, I called my very best friend, I talked to some of the friends yet I’m still very empty inside. I’m living in a body without soul. I feel like dying..

I need to study, I need to study real quick but my heart is not ready for them! I am truly depressed at the moment. Where is my baby? When I was crying like a baby, where are you? I need you urgently.. to comfort my unstable heart beats! :’(

Thanks sis for all the Christianity songs, by listening to them, though dropping tears yet it helps to feel relieve a bit.

p.s. I love you, I do really love you all!! >.<"

遗传病？

惨了。。惨了。。近来越来越觉得我有点像她们了。。

是好是坏，我不知晓。。

我就像大姑，喜欢诳街，爱打扮，喜欢买好多好多的鞋子，衣服，手提袋，护肤品。。

我就像二姑，很随性，很友善。。

我就像三姑，很洁僻。。

我就像四姑，很女强人主意，很顽强。。

我就像小姑，很小孩子气。。

嗯，看来只有二姑最好！

三姑也不癞。。只是有时太洁僻，累了自己也累了身边的人。。

唉，我真的不想这个样子，难道真的是遗传症？

生命中有你们真好！

我的父母，我的婆婆，我的弟弟，我的爱人，我的表堂兄弟姐妹们，我的长辈以及我所有的好朋友们，生命因为有你们而有光彩！生命的无常也让我懂得更感恩你们的存在！我会很珍惜这一些在世的天使们。。谢谢！

这几天，出入医院如家，一切悲伤尽在眼中，无形中的压力涌上心头，我的神经好痛。。处了药物的控制，朋有们的祝福让我支撑着。。这个时候，我不容许自己倒下！在我生命最悴弱的时候，我需要你，紧此一通蔚问的电话也罢，足以让我更坚强的去面对生命中的一却不愉。。

很感恩，有位好友不惜一却的陪同在医院大半天，我会很珍惜这一份难能可贵的友宜！处了口中的谢谢，我心中不尽的感激，我相信你是知道的。。婆婆也和我一样这么的感激你，我的好朋友！

很劳累的身驱，很痛的喉咙，可是我却好想念那一把很熟悉但却带点陌生的声音。。不管我的生活有多劳累，我时时刻刻都想着你。。可是那一通电话，怎么迟迟都不来？朋友们的祝福，都比不上你一声的蔚问。。每一通来电，我都好希望是你。。我期待着。。我傻了！我知道我应该接受，我不应该奢求。。但是无言的关心？让我好心痛。。独自一人的埋在被里，把所有的痛苦都哭了出来。。

p.s.我没有资格去打扰忙碌世界的你。。我就是一个负担！但是我好害怕。。我祷告着。。希望哭过以后的我可以更坚强，以后都不哭，有耶稣与我同在就好！

对婆婆心目中的感言。。

这一编是为亲爱的阿婆写的。。

看见婆婆一天天老去的模样，记忆渐渐退化，不时的气喘。。我好害怕！害怕她就快要走了。。我承任是我的自私，我不舍得，我不要婆婆走人！每当看到此景，我都会祷告，请求主耶稣拿走婆婆的病痛，但别带她走。。婆婆也常告诉我说，如果没有气喘，那该有多好！这句话让人听了很心疼。。我压抑着眼泪，心里真的好痛！如果没有生老病死这一回事，我们就不会感受着生离死别的痛！

与婆婆相处的短短的几个星期里，感言很多，感触很深。。我好爱这一个从小就把我当成宝的婆婆！除了帮忙照顾婆婆，与她谈天以及听她所讲的一切过去之外，也得到了婆婆的蔚问！虽然她记忆衰退，但她不曾忘了问我，喉咙还有痛吗？我心深处很感动，也很感恩这么一句可贵的问候语！

从出世那一天起，我就被认定了是婆婆心目中的宝贝！也是唯一的内孙女。。当父母都在国外工做时，是她把我拥在身边。。它最呵护我了！那一种幸福的亲子关系是无法被取代的！我很任性，也很挑披，但每当我被大人骂时，婆婆是最心疼我的人，这一却的一却我都知道。

曾经有一段日子是与婆婆相处的，只怪当年稚气很多，往往都不懂得珍惜眼前人。。很后悔当初的不懂事，还好婆婆还在，但婆婆的伟大，我还不了。。我好感恩拥有一位这样好的婆婆！

祝婆婆长命百岁，祝婆婆身体健康。。

p.s.在我心深处，我明白这个世界不属于我们，天国才是我们永恒的家！但若每一个相爱的人，一家大大小小的都可以一起上天国，不是更好吗？耶稣，为什么每一个人上天国的时间都不一样？我还是很不舍得，我还是很害怕那一天的到来。。我的心是真的真的好难过。。：’(

MyJobStreet - JobStreet English Language Assessment

MyJobStreet - JobStreet English Language Assessment

Health deteriorated..

It’s been already a week of suffering and I’m yet to recover from my very sore throat. Since the day I’ve decided to seek for doctor and I knew it this time gonna be a long sick for me! But deep down inside, I’m still hoping to recover soon. I don’t wanna leave yet..

Each early morning, I started to feel the pain and yes, grandma never stop asking about my throat every early morning, I feel pleasure with her caring still. However, today, I’ve tell a lie that I’m recovering from throat, just not to worry her. A little bit of pain won’t kill me. So bear with it!

There is this unexpected headache comes attack since Sunday! Today, the 4th day of me been tortured by the ache and I’m working still. I’m trying to be strong yet I can pretend no more! The pain started from the right top of my forehead and it has makes my right eye can barely open for sight! It felt even worst when the pain proceeds onto my nose! Weirdly, the pain only occurs from morning till evening! I shall go for doctor for the severe headache tomorrow. Please keep in pray.

While I’m writing this, I’m feeling no better, the ache is still on head.. suffering..

p.s. I have a burden in my heart, to own a poor body and have a poor soul in it and I can go no further. If the doctor couldn’t save my life, my saviour will! Please end all the pains yet I wish so much to stay! Please let me carry on.. can u?

Night mare in both!!

I am not feeling well for few days yet grandma the same too. Auntie is physically there yet she needs my help on carrying grandma, feeding medicine, bathing and staff.. it’s quite a tough task to do but we got no choice! To do it or never, hence two days of my MC were sacrifice on taking care of grandma. Due to her sudden lung infection, we can have rest no more.

But thank god still I manage to do so much even when me myself still sick! It’s kind of tired but I hope we can cope with it. As for my the other love one, I couldn’t have much time for him yet he is leaving soon! I’m sad! I’m very sad, sad to the extent that I can speak no more! Why would auntie doing thing without think twice and making everyone suffering here?

Other than sad, I feel bad! How to tell? Either way of scarification and I can gain no good!

This is how sad life treating us, the road not taken!

In additionally, I thought I could have a good night sleep at 3.35am yesterday. Who knows, I’ve got a nightmare during whole-hell-sleeping-night! I’ve dreamed about my only love is leaving me after a Tsunami attacks. He is holding someone else’s hand and coming to me, thinking of to telling me something before he left yet I couldn’t face the truth and I ran away! I shed tears all over again and again but he is leaving…

What is all these bad dreams about? Sigh, please don’t let it happens, please.. please.. I can’t take it anymore.

*burst*

New Year - New gift - sick @.@"

So sick yet I am here dropping by..

Slept for so long and I couldn’t force myself to sleep any longer.. So hate this kind of sick feeling but what to do since I don’t take good care of myself!

Small head is quite heavy for me at the current moment, bad flu and throat is even worst! At the worse moment like this, other than jotting down the situation and I got no patience for anything else. Other than blogging, still blogging.

Out of the so many years that I never pay a visit to a doctor but today I went for it! Still remember my last visit was about 10 years ago! Amazing?! Lol, I am not a super girl though but I always take medicine out of the clinic and cure myself. However, time flies, I have to admit the fact that I am no longer that “YOUNG”, there is almost ¼ of the century that I have gone thru. Hence I do really need to take care well for all the machines inside me!

The friendly doctor said, the new beginning, new sick that’s really made me smile! Yes, I supposed this is the ever first sick I’ve got during the New Year! Still many days need to go through, still many more challenges on the front, yet I need to be strong enough to get it all over!

p.s. I pray to get well soon, especially on my throat, as I am a very talkative person, sore throat would really kill me off >.<”