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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

上帝啊,请你让我嫁个对的人!

今年的确发生了太多事, 有愉快的,伤心的,压力的。。所以我停笔了,复杂的心情,不知从何说起!

我最爱的她,离开了,跟上帝走了。。
我觉得应该嫁的人向我求婚,但是开玩笑的说是我逼的,或许是的,因为我们真的没有热恋的感觉,有的只是平稳的感情!

我会嫁对人吗?

大考过了,成绩还在等待中。。听说这是世上第二难的考试,所以我的成绩,我交托给上帝了!
现在此刻,当我正忙着凑备婚里的时候,为什么会有这样的一个梦?为什么不是我应该嫁的那个人?

为什么会有另一个我不认识的他出现,而他有以我要的方式爱我?在梦里,我不敢相信尽然有个男的会如此真心的爱我。。
醒来以后,果然只是一场梦,而已!

我还是默默的祷告,上帝啊,请你让我嫁个对的人!


P's: 只要是真心相对的另一半,比什么金银珠宝来得更有价值!

Monday, April 13, 2015

自欺欺人


我大概从小都有了这个本领,常都制造好的故事给自己。。
人们都说think positive很好,直到有一天我醒了。。
今天下午,与一位姐妹吃饭的时候,忽然下起了一场很大的雨。。
结果她同居多年的男友就连续三通电话,叫她要在外小心,在不停语的话,就叫她别开车,好让他自己开来载她,尽管朋友说不必了,他还很不放心的再三确认。。
她遇到了真正爱她的好男人,她正甜甜的笑者!这个男的把她的生命比自己的更重要!

晚餐时刻,又跟了另外一个即将定婚的朋友吃。。
她男友在国外工做,但每晚睡前都会与我朋友通电话,好是贴心!

她们的男人都让我好羡慕,就连我爸,我与妈去旅行时都常与我妈contact,熬目旁人了!
我没有男友,却只有一个即将要结婚的男人。。
他就算几天不联系我,他也没关系,到后来还会为自己找借口说,:“你怎么那么斤斤计交?你可以打给我啊!我很忙的!”

对,你是真的忙的,
忙到可以忘了我的存在,
忙到可以不管我的安危,
忙到可以无时无刻打开你的电话,选择不回答我的迅息,
忙到我出国在外时,别人都有另一半的问暖,我却默默希望会讯息我,可是从来都没有过!
然而,我却没有生气,把所有的伤心决望都望肚里吞!
到后来,你只是在爱你自己,却不懂得去爱别人。。
看清了, 不走,留给人贱待吗?

婚纱,很美,让人有种冲动想要结婚。。
但婚姻最重要的是你要嫁的那个人。。
跟一个不懂爱的人,只是在对牛弹情罢了!

上帝,这是一个玩笑吗?

难道我爱上了一只牛而已??

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Dearest Ah Por Has Gone Home With The Lord..

On the midnight of 9th of February 2015, I've received a call from my mom who has inform me about the sudden news of grandma has passed away! Grandma was at her age of 88, this year. She was so ill but yet she tried to give as much responses to us when we were calling her during our visit to the hospital. 

The period of her stays in hospital was short, she admitted on the Wednesday and passed away there on the Sunday, midnight. Of course, all of us who loves her dearly were so sad to get to know this and it was just two weeks before CNY when everyone else pray for her to come home soon just right before CNY, Jesus has decided to ends her suffering and brought her home to be with the Lord above. 

I'm still sad while posting this because we are only human with emotional tense. We  missed our grandma and we are truly sad on the demised of our grandma at this period. Although, we understand that she has gone home with the Lord for a better eternity life, but yes, we take time to lessen our pain of missing her, dearly. I trust in the Lord that HE will comfort each of us and give us strength to carry on!

For myself, I have exams, graduation and wedding to go through this year and it's gonna be tough. I'm exceptionally down when I see for every of my plans, I included ah por into the picture. I know Lord's decision is almighty and higher than us, but I prayed to have lesser pain each day to be able to carry on in life and to know the reason behind the decision of our Lord, why this year? I'm still seeking for an answer. Lord, you surely understand on my feeling now, and I'm eagerly praying for an answer for this as you're our mercy Lord, why this year? Grandma was happy to hear on the graduation and wanted to wait for the wedding. I'm all heart broken but grandma is in a better place now rest assured me!

Looking on my guest attendance list, I miss grandma. Looking at the CNY hamper that yet to give her, I miss grandma. For my graduation pic, there will be no more ah por. Dear Lord, this year is a year of restoration as for your promise. I'm still holding on my faith, I prayed that you can open upp my eyes, my heart and my mind to accept the almighty arrangement of yours. Lord, please grant me wisdom to carry on. Dear Lord, please granted one of my aunty who was very close to grandma more courage and strength to carry on as well as she loves you very much too, Lord. 

Looking at all the relevant stuff that related to grandma, we know we have missed her dearly! May our ah por Rest in Peace in the arms of Jesus, and may she reunion with our dearest ah gong who has gone home with the Lord for over the 20years, Amen! To be honest, this year CNY is a bit tough for us but we have to understand that we are all god's children and HE loves all of us! We will find peace.

A blessing that I couldn't be able to send out on time, but God has blessed her with something more grateful!