Christmas is all about blessing! Why?

It is a day of remembering our dear Lord Jesus Christ! Ever since HE was born, we were all saved and blessed! So the whole of the December month is always the lovely month that coupled with sweet and joyful Christmas carols and fun filled decorations of trees and gift and most importantly it is a blessing month for all!

It’s a season of thankful and being blessed. It’s the carols that comfort and ease every hearts! So I really love listening to Christmas carols! It feels like you are being showered in the joy and it’s never ending joys!!

“Ho ho ho.. Santa Clause is coming to town …” the other day, one of my friend was asking me how if Santa grant you a wish on Christmas and what would it be yours? Ahh, I think for a second, without hesitation and say I would like to ask Santa to sponsor me a trip back to my home for CNY! Hehh, was I sound weird? What? During Christmas season and I’m making a wish to go back for CNY on the next month? Yes, as I couldn’t make it to go home for this time Christmas, it’s sad. Time and financial concerns wont allowed me to do so. In the other hand, I would like to take this opportunity to really celebrate Christmas here since it might be my very last Christmas here before I’m moving away permanently. So I got no complain. Hence to know that I could be able to go back for CNY is good enough. Unfortunately, transportation to go back is one of the big headache. Thus, I got such little wish on this Christmas!

After all, I m not too greedy isn’t it? and guess what? The very few next days, my wish was granted! I told my friend and he don’t kinda believe it! haha, he asked me, are you sure Santa has given you your wish? I said yes yes!! I always know when you have a heart that believes and you will get the blessing! =) I believe that Santa has told my darling about this and he is sending him here to give me a free ride to go home for CNY! How nice and sweet?

Other than the wish above, I’m blessed additional “gift” on this Christmas too! First, it’s the good news that he has found the alternative way to cure his sickness instead of going thru a surgery that worried most of us! Secondly, when I thought I would be alone on this Christmas, and he is making it to come back for our very 1st Christmas here! (basically it’s just not at hometown) To know that your love one would be back to be together with you on this blessing season, isn’t it feels warm? Haaaa.. I’m so happy and thanks Santa for those additional wishes that prayed inside my heart!

So, really, blessing it doesn't need to be wrapped in a nicely gift box or being spent by a huge amount of money. A simple act of love could be a worthwhile one and being appreciated. I do really love my Christmas gift this year! So, what is your wish or what is the gift that you want from a Santa Clause? Should you tell/asked and believe like I do?

Ps. Wishing on something and believing that you are getting it and you will! =) Be merry, everyone!!

我很忙

A-Lin - 我很忙 MV ~~~~作詞：鄔裕康 作曲：施佳陽
不需要假期
我沒地方可去
不需要狂歡
人群只是空虛
多數的關心
只是嘴上說說而已
真正懂我的人是自己

我的眼睛一作夢就看到你
一閉上就想哭泣
笑容忽然間變成奢侈品
我的生活
充滿了和你有關的記憶
每每靠近
滿城風雨

就讓我忙的瘋掉
忙的累倒
連哭的時間都沒有最好
就讓我忙的忘掉
你的懷抱
他曾帶給我的美好
當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的謊
完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到

我的眼睛一作夢就看到你
一閉上就想哭泣
笑容忽然間變成奢侈品
你在哪裡
曾是每天要問你的一句
我要戒斷
這種關心

就讓我忙的瘋掉
忙的累倒
連哭的時間都沒有最好
就讓我忙的忘掉
你的懷抱
他曾帶給我的美好
當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的話
話完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到

當一個麻痺的人
哪有多好
心裡沒別的只有忙忙忙
工作是一種抵抗
一帖解藥
人怎能被想念打倒
當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的謊
完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到



p.s. something that word alone couldn't be explained much; ironically all the inner feeling can be sang by a song!!Y.Y

Give & Take

How to define the give and take in a relationship?

Guy’s version of give:
He cater her daily needs as of food, shelter, entertainment, transport and so on
All he can do is just dealing with money and he really thought money could satisfy a girl’s need and he thinks that girl should really satisfy with what has been provided by not complaining any.

Guy’s version of take:
He is looking for understanding, trust and respect from his girl.
He needs all that from the girl so that only he could really concentrate on his career!

Gal’s version of give:
She will do all the sweet stuffs like greet and hug him while meeting up with him, kiss morning before she goes to work and kiss goodnight before she off to bed, cook whenever she can (but she never expects him to abandon her cooking!), hold his hand whenever in the car or at the public, make lovely card and some special gift for their important days. She remembers all the important days of them and care to spend time together.

Gal’s version of take:
She needs lot of attention, companion, loving care and tender love. Money alone couldn’t buy heart that really loves! She needs a smile and a comfort hug while she is down from unhappy stuffs. She needs a pair of ears that listen and a general heart to accept her as she is.


Unfortunately the give and take didn’t always co-exist as expected. It’s so difficult to reach a compromise for the two persons that don’t really understand each other’s need! To live a life together can never be easy neither shall I say to find a soulmate that really click?

p.s. However nothing is easy, if you really love a person, you get to change yourself first before you demand others to change for you. It is equally applied to this quote: “you shall love yourself before someone else could love you too!” and this, you gained respect from others by you respecting them in the first place. We are all living in a community that we couldn’t survive alone, so learn to coat yourself with the culture of give and take, to make the living in among human, much more easy and simple!

Love the one of your chosen one!

Group-on special ~

It’s on current trend that online vouchers like groupon, everyday deal and etc are hot in the internet world. First it is so convenient and second it gives you to plan out your budget before heading to some kickass restaurants and ofcourse there are few more good reasons on buying these vouchers but I am not going to waste more time on promoting them. =P However I personally like this concept very much!

Been browsing through the online vouchers for some time already and today, I was shocked that I have came across this special wedding proposal on Groupon! (hey, it’s not for me anyway!) But really OMG!! Haha, I just tumpang surprised and tumpang happy! He such a great romance and thoughtful guy and he should deserves gold medal award! I never know Groupon can be of such a place for sweet stuff to be held at! It’s truly amazing and that guy asked for support by us who is seeing this ads to buy the “deal” at no cost! Hence I was one of the supporter after reading the whole long and touching contents of the “groupon proposal”! It’s the effort that count and congrats to this couple. May them living blissfully ever after! (Hey u see, fairy tale do happens!)

Pls look at the link, it’s creative indeed! http://www.groupsmore.com/cities/selangor/deals/loke-hing-seong--2

I believe I may not be the only one who is crying reading this cause gals can easily be touched by surprises! See, we even cried for others’ surprises! There is a saying: “Gals are made of water after all!”

p.s. By seeing all those romantic and touching clips online, I’ve realized that guys nowadays are more open minded and can come up all sort of funny ideas and thoughtful surprises for their gals! It’s a good sign, guys here u go! *bravo*

Gals, only the right guy will make you a great surprise; while a “not-right” guy will only bring you heart-attacked surprises! So, gals u choose your “surprises”! =)

没有面包的爱情，还要吗?

理智的人，会选择面包；

感性的人，会选择爱情。

如果有得选择，我相信每个人都会要有面包的爱情！

只因有爱情的面包不会出现，

天上不会掉钱，天下也没有免费的无餐。。

爱情，不能只是饮水饱！

更何况现在的水也不便宜。。

"他很爱她！她也爱着他！他们其实都很相爱。。

只是生活是现实的，一般上的人都会为了钱而苦脑，然而讲钱真的很伤感情。。
他们学历不高，所以他们所能赚到的并不多,
但他们懂得爱情!
可是再懂爱情的人们，如果没有面包，也会把爱情给搞杂。。
他总以为他那无私的爱与关怀，足够让她幸福一辈子，
却忘了，如果下雨了没有一把伞，
天冷了没有寒衣，
肚俄了没吃的，怎么办？？
他或许能给的就只有衣食住行，
然而她要的是能够有多余的钱，好让她可以回去与久韦的家人同聚！
她的愿望，不难实现，只是他能力有限！"

从小，就看到许多穷人家的故事，自己也曾在很困穷的环境中长大，看到他们，我深感悲哀！

更同情的是，他们的小孩该怎么长大？

那一种生活，太可怕，幼龄时期就要为钱财担心，那幼小的心灵要去承受，或许太重了吧？

我还是感恩我们伟大的父母，省吃检用的只是为了给们取暖，也从不把我们饿坏。。更感谢没有因为困难而把我们丢掉，也不放弃爱情，让我们都能在一个幸福的小康之家成长！

然而，他们会不会也是个伟大的父母呢？

我希望，我就只能为他们祈祷，希望他们会自己的小家庭负责任！

没有面包的爱情，已经不能再说要与不要了，只能问，还能生存吗？

如果没有了面包，怎能保着那可贵的生命？如果生命都不保，那哪来的爱情啊？

他曾经对我说过，一个男人有钱没钱，并不重要，最重要的是他会是疼你的那个人！
那一句话，我听了，也算了，如果有个男人可以真心的疼我，是上天赐予的福，但是如果他没有钱，怎么证明他有多疼我？
不是我现实，而是我已经长大了。。明了活在这样的世界，是不可能有童话的！



朋有们都说，我就像童话中的公主，常盼着有美好的爱情，完美的童话。。
我地确从来没有放弃过那一个美梦，
只是自小，曾经所受过的苦，已经告诉我，童话是种娱乐，是让人累了，又有个美好的理由安蔚自己而已！
所以那样的美梦，我从不追随。。这样美的梦，只留在梦中，也只会在电视机上播放。。
也因为那样，所以每当有人说：“我想嫁个王子！”时，就有人回应：“你别在做梦了！”嘻！！


可是如果有那么的一天，你真的是嫁给了王子，你是否会质疑你在梦中了呢？哈。。

p.s. 我要面包，也要爱情！不要说我贪心，这是需要，也是活着的意义！

祝福他们，也祝福每个人都会找到自己的“童话”！

有没有一双眼会把我们带到未来？

什么是未来？未来真的是个未知数吗？

未来是用双手打拼出来的，

若果一失足，未来就会变了样！

如果有 “short cut”， 我相信没有人愿意走更长远的路。。

如果有双眼睛能够让我们看到很明确的未来，

或许，就算再长的路，都不算长，也不会走到更多的冤妄路。。

没有十全十美的人；

只有完美的思想！

当你可以做到99分的时候，

别人依然会怪你，怎么只有那么的1分，你就是做不到？

他人会怪你没做到100分，却从不去理会，你已经尽力了！

有时候做人真的很累。。

你真的不可能只为了自己而活！

那一颗坚持的心，真的会被那些冷言冷语伤得很。。

旦愿我会是个超人，

永远不会累，

做事做到最完美无缺！

如果，你没有看到我的努力，

请你不要否认我真的是有努力过。。

我，还持着那一股勇往直前的勇气！

请留下空间让我自己走，

也留下我该拥有的尊严！

p.s.我知足，也很感恩，但我还是很悲伤我的无能！

Inspirational gain!

" a poor man who really loves you, won't starve you to death;

while a rich man who don't really cares will definitely breaks your heart for the rest of your life!"

Flying off..

I used to dislike people leaving off, especially from me..

I used to think that the one who stay must be suffering more than the one who are leaving;

And now I started to hate myself for flying off and leaving my love ones behind..

It never feels good!

I’m so sorry if I ever blame you for leaving..

Now, I’ve finally realized that we will never understand others situation until we have put ourselves into their shoes.

Nowadays, my parents used to be the ones to send me off at the airport or at the bus station, And whenever I saw them waving hand on me and saying goodbye and my heart started crying in silence! I waved at them with full strength but inside me was attached with a weak soul to carry out the strength to wave! It’s sad, very sad to leave them both behind. I believe that they are sad too! :'( Even worse, I got so many people there in the island to be missed about, how can I do this all alone here at the different land and under the different sky?

Although the distance is so near but yet it seems so far. However, it’s too costly to travel back that often! How not to be sad and what so to be excited about while the frequency to see them become less?

I’ve always asked for the freedom I wanted and now they have given me and it seems too much for me right now. Yes, I’m a soul that haunt for lots and lots of freedom and I’ve got my own choice of pick as always but then I never wanted to be alone! That’s so scary! I thank my parents for being so understanding and letting me to pursue my dream out there. I appreciate their care and thought and scarification very much yet I feel so reluctantly to leave. But I am always strong in front of them, and I never ever really tell them, yes I’ve always missed them, missed home, and missed the island! I’ve to be so independent in front of them to minimize their worries toward me. It’s kind of a tough task to me as I can never be so independent yet I’ve survived all these years. I believe that is god’s strength that keeping me up! Once again, my parents have hand me the decision key but I never good at making decision, to be exact, I never really have the courage to go for what I've always wanted without thinking of my love ones..

The island is so lovely is because of all of you people there, staying! I miss you guys real much! Once I’ve reach the other land and tears are so uncontrollably rolling off.. God, what is this suffering to do with me on my future? Why are you putting me in a situation such as this? I prayed in silence and I hope YOU can grant me wisdom to handle the thing that is out of my ability.

I miss the people on the island, dearly!! Especially you!

p.s. Don’t keep me guessing, if you love me, tell me..

Can u hear my heart crying ? Y.Y

It’s never easy..

To overcome a night like this is never easy!

When things happened as of the previous way, it feels like living under the past shadow, once again.

There is a saying that we should learn from our past but it never taught us how to leave our past behind?

The unease heart speaks louder than the brain that calms heart.

I’m in serious pain!

It’s the commitment and promises that make the heart bleeds even more.

It’s the faith that makes it become so real yet it’s not true.

It’s the innocent soul that believes it could be better this time.

Yet it’s the mindset that cheating over and over again that everything is just right into place.

It’s the pure heart that still hoping for the fairytales story to happen in real life.

It’s the stupidity that makes the heart hurts once more.

After all, it’s the faithful belief that causes the tears rolling off from the eyes that don’t really SEE!

p.s. May god heal the rotten wound and the sin be washed away by your sacred hand.

May the eyes stop crying and may the heart & soul rest in peace, today onwards!

還是要幸福 !

還是要幸福 田馥甄

曲：張簡君偉 詞：徐世珍/司魚 編曲：盧家宏、JerryC

不確定就別親吻 感情很容易毀了一個人
一個人若不夠狠 愛淡了不離不棄多殘忍

你留下來的垃圾 我一天一天總會丟完的
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束

還我鑰匙的備份 我覺得再見可以很單純
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你如果很幸福 半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆
因為你的悲喜已經有了 容身之處 我也 能有 最純粹的孤獨




最孤獨的孤獨

Words speak out of soul ~

How can U say yes to someone who is not your boyfriend but someone who loves you tender?

Ehem, this sound like a proposal!

Yes, but no, it isn’t a very proper one, so it is not.

Worse part, it doesn’t come from the one who supposed to do it but from some unexpected ones. Yes, this is the second informal “proposal” of the year and from different person and I’m shocked!? *W.o.W* Is it because of our age concern that causes people instead of asked you to be their gf but they were asking to be their wife? *scratch head* How serious do these people treating L.O.V.E as?

Deep down inside, neither us are serious about the "joke" of the day but then I m clearly awaken with my current status, this just could not be so right! I’m no longer a teenager and why wouldn’t it happens 10 years ago while I’m still very naïve on love? Too bad, timing not right!

Sometimes, we met the right person at the very wrong timing; while some met at the right time but to a wrong person. How pathetic? It felt a bit hurt the last time but then it never kills! Perhaps I’m of a better someone now and learnt from my past. It hurts no more.

But hey thanks for the truly sweet words that raise me to cloud9 and it helps to move forward life! Life never goes backward. The only thing we can do is to build for a better tomorrow!

p.s. sweet words are like desserts, they melt heart & soul but you just couldn’t taste it that often for god sake you will get diabetic!

一段漫长而又让人哭泣的路!

已经不是第一次的经过那儿，

我想我也该习贯那离离合合的场面。。

可惜女人的心却是水做的，

他每一次的离开，我都好不舍得，好难过的流出心中的泪。。

我，是真的很不舍得！

总是压愈心中的不舍，不敢开口，我是真的好爱你！

连句拥抱都不敢开口，我怎么啦？

然而，

每一个拥抱，都好想哭，因为知道下一秒，你将会离开；

每一次爱哭的眼都不感让你看到，因为不想你也跟着一起难过！

虽然知道还有下一次的合聚，

可是在怎么安蔚自己，都不行，还是特别的难过！

由其是，每当我是那个送走他的那个人，

眼泪会更是没有规矩的，大颗大颗的落下。。

那个一个人从机场空车的回家路上，很悲伤，很漫长！

那个会让人失控哭泣的“回家”路，真的好难走。。

那个空楼并不是我的家。。

我，好想回家，回去与我爱的及爱我人在一起！

在这里，

没有一个角落可以容纳那一颗幼小的心，

没有一处地方可以让我有归属感！

离乡背景已经有五年之久了，

叫我怎么能够不想念？

离开家，真的很不好受，

游子的路上有多么的坎坷。。

如果以前不那么执着，

或许我们不用被距离隔着；

如果故事可以改写，

我宁愿选择快乐！

我好想念你，以及您们。。

人，不可能会在这世上永远的兜留着，

如果，早一点看破世事，

我会懂得更珍惜！

希望一切都不会太迟。。

p.s.这段让人哭泣的道路，到低还要走多久才会停？

长大了

人，长大了，就无法再任性。。

长大了，就不能说你要什么，哭，你就会得到！

因为长大了，所要求的东东比小时候来的够力，

所以并不是你所要的，别人就该给你..

有的事情,还是得去自己去做,去争取的好!

有些人,有些话；

虽然很伤人, 但是人,长大了,

就必须去学会承受些这点点的委屈。

哭了以后, 更懂得坚强；

跌到了，就该重新站起来！

哭，

并不是小孩的专有，

其实当真正懂事了以后，哭会变得更多，

不同的是，我们不再在大众面前哭。。

或许，

我该说的不是哭，而是流泪了。。

心灵累了，眼泪很自然的就会流出。

世事难如愿，

要知道，越是在乎，越是伤感；

因为没有在乎，没有感觉的，那来的伤悲？

长大了，

不仅此要努力去争取自己所爱的；

同时也要懂去放下那些不该执着的！

长大了，

就有能力去给于自己幸福的力量，

自己要的幸福，不靠他人！

如果真的有那么的一天，

有个人能够把你像个小孩般的疼爱，

那是上天赐于的祝福！

因为仅管你已是个大人了，

在那个人心里，他清楚的知道你不是个小孩，

但他永远拥有个想要呵护你的心，

那就足够你跟他一辈子了！

p.s.

小时候的我们，都可以开开心心的在父母的爱护中喜悦着长大；

然而长大了以后，我们在寻寻觅觅中就只不过是要找到那一个可以相依偎护的肩膀！

那是一种福气，不是你要争取就所能得到的福气。。

God's speaking..

I think god has spoken to me on yesterday night!

Incident was inspired by a huge dark old cockroach that was flying weakly around the corner of my room and yes that happened in the middle of the night while I’m supposed to sleep.

For those who are really close to me will know that when it comes to this thing called cockroach, and that would be the end of my world! Yes, I’m deathly scared of this little yet disgusting creature!

At that moment, I’ve stupidly gone to make an S.O.S call that make me look even more stupid-est than before. Since no one else can help during call and there is no one else physically there also and while I was so fuck afraid at that time and all I wanted to do is to kill the little silly thing to ease my uneasy heart!

So here the only one thing that I can really rely on is Jesus! I kept on praying that the cockroach don’t fly towards me and keep searching and spotting for it and at the very right time I’ve just putted a very heavy hit on that unwanted creature!

After a hit of few times and it was still managed to move a bit and this time really pissed me off and I kept hitting on it until it has become all flatted! This time I make sure it really dies and I can have a good night sleep. Why la suddenly I have become so bravo a girl?

Although it has died there yet I don’t feel good at all. The “body” still being there, and the timid me not even dare to open up the newspaper and to throw that little thing away. Suddenly the bravo feeling has all gone. That’s how sad to stay home alone =’(

I remembered there is one time at the mid night as well, me and brother saw the cockroach and both shouting at each and running over the house until our mom has awake and see what is happening. After that mom sort of saying this to me, : “ how are you going to survive alone without us?” Yesterday, I’ve totally miss mom and home so much that I went to bed with tears and fear inside me. I just hate to be alone!

I’ve committed my night to the prayer. That’s really the one thing I can do. God has spoken to me that : “I will granted you the courage to protect yourself when you’re in fear! So don’t be afraid of anything. Human can do great when they are in dangerous and to do self-protection and I’m with you, all the time.”

The other message from HIM, that is “Some people though they said they care but in fact they don’t really have the heart to care about every single thing. They are too busy to care about your feeling while they have theirs to cope. Forgive them. Though you’re disappointed yet nobody is responsible for your own happiness. Don’t blame and just walked off. You gotta work it out for your own happiness. So for now, I’ve guided you the way you supposed to go and you go choice for your happiness. To learn to love yourself first before you want others to love you!”

Those phrases above really clear part of my doubt as I’ve been praying for this for so long and finally I get to see some. I hope to hear from FATHER soon in the coming days as I would really wanted to be a doubt-free person. After all, I'm not a good decision maker!

And thanks for the reminded from the prince of a cup of warm water to calm the uneasy heart before going to bed. (that’s a very useful tip!)

p.s. Ironically the cockroach has died and heart is dying too.

时间长与短，并不能证明爱情是真的!

爱情不是用时间的长短来衡量的。。

爱情是用真心去证明它的存在!

有些才刚开始没几个月的爱情，就算有多甜蜜，多认真，都被他人认为这只是个短暂的幸福而已。。

难道不是拥有好的开始，就是属于成功的一半吗？

然而，那些已在爱情长跑数年的恋人，才会被人们承任，那爱情的所在！

事情是这样子的吗？

本人认为，不是的！

我站在这里，看到了她那幸福的笑容，她的爱情属实，我的确觉得他们会很幸福，更祝福他们永远幸福美满！

好的爱情，总是迟到！

她的爱情更是比别人迟来了，可是她的幸福却没有比任何恋人的少，甚至更加幸福！

就因为爱情来迟了，他们都很珍惜彼此！（还好他们在遇到彼此时都还单身！）

太早的爱情，让人爱得遍体鳞伤，真的好累，甚至可怕的阴影，影向未来。。

也因为太早跌伤，我们学得更多，更懂得保护自己，然而也开始不相信爱情。。

来得不早也不迟的爱情，让人觉得刚刚好，时机对了，人也对了，就会幸福美满！

迟来的爱情，总是让人有种遗憾美！

如果已经娶嫁了，那就恨嫁太早。。

如果，还是一个人，那个他就是她的幸福！

好的东西总是要在后头才出现。。

所以，我们都嫁给了最后的那一位，不是吗？

但是不是每一个的最后一个他是好的。。然而，在要娶嫁之前，真的要慎重的考量一翻！

但愿上天赐良缘，奢奢哀求，就只希望他可以是那个最后一位对的人！

后语：

我的爱情里，有没有迟到的那一个他？

他会不会来？会不会到？会不会出现？

然而这个他，会不会是那一个已经等到的最后一个？

我只能默默然的希望他是。。

开始对婚姻有种恐惧感，证明我已经长大了！

没有再像从前那样，盲目的想要嫁给那个人。。

现在，我要的是。。

那个认真，忠诚，真实而不虚为的，尊重承诺的，对爱情执着，能够给予安全感的那一个他！

可以吗？

有没有一双眼镜，可以让我真正的去确定那一个对的人？？

当心情很低弱的时候，有没有一颗糖，可以带走心中的苦？！

On a random night, like tonight!

No doubt, I’ve been away for more than a month time, away from the blogging heaven I used to drop by, away from the habit of jotting down dots of life, away from my inner feeling, and yes all because of my hectic exam schedules that I really couldn’t find any precious moment to drop by my little space here.

Oh well, finally everything has been settled down, perhaps the toughest part is done! I thought I could be freed from mentally tortured yet I’m wrong! In fact, there are a lot out there for me to worry about. Pressure never ends there. One of the reason I’m back here, it’s obvious! *speechless* (yet lots of thing to be expressed) I used to be a verbally active one, yet speech sometimes could just do limited, words could do more of an expression, that’s why I like to write, so much since little!

On a night like this, suddenly I recalled about you. It's been ages! I’m wondering have you ever dropped by since the day you’re gone? Sometimes, it’s the experience that we went through and we learned to see from different angle and see goods in others. I felt so sorry but whatever that has been done, I couldn’t erase. I’m sorry! I’m just so sorry to you that I hope for your forgiveness, really.

God is fair enough, I hope you are living a good life now. Perhaps that is never my wish to get lost in touch with you but why would a world so small yet I couldn’t met you on a same small planet that they said? It’s kinda sad to have lost someone who can hear your soul’s talking. My bad; my lost and it’s hurt a bit.

I still feel like apologizing, to you. I’m so sorry when I’m being hurt and I understand the feeling of you being hurt too. When I’m being helpless, and I remembered I’ve left to somewhere else without looking back. When I’m being in ignorance and I remembered how I’ve ignore you in the past. Sorry, I truly understand how it hurts now. That’s my very bad. I’m asking for forgiveness! They said this is a “karma”, how true?

How many next life more to go? If I couldn’t have met you again on this life, then I’m afraid to think about next life, especially there is only have one life in Christ. I’m afraid to think more. I wish silently that my phone will ring like the custom calls! It’s a fool, isn’t it?

p.s. if you ever pass by, please do drop me some lines, everything still remain intact! God’s blessing upon you, all the time.

没那么简单!

p.s. :'(

I'm in need ..

.. of inner peace!

I really never wanted to go back to the past! Please let me go, I asked Jesus to, let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go of my inner fear.. please heal me in one piece!

Perhaps not at this moment, no No and NO!

When history recalled, it's like a tsunami attacked deep down inside. How would a human get rid of an emotionally tense? How can i be set free?

Word alone could kill a million. It's the unbearable pain that make life so bitter and fck up! It's already so heavy on my shoulder yet it add on further when I'm asking for more positive returns.

p.s. if i ever have a chance to meet u again, i wish i could bitch slaps u as hard as i like to release all my hatred towards U! Damn evil! At the end of the day, why would i get to punish myself over your stupid ever mistake created? In turn of that i'm guilty of accusing the other innocent person. wtf*

I silently wish, there is no more salt added to my wound, i beg for yr merciness Y.Y

I couldn't carry a weak heart & soul to the battle

I wanna go get my victory back,

Please let me...