Heart attacked!

Yesterday night there’s the horrible attack on my heart again! Yes, again! Due to the overdue pressures and stuffs, I’ve suffered from this severe pain in the heart. This had happened few years ago and recently it came back to me again!

I used to suffered heartache (I guess lots of peoples went thru this as well?) whenever I feel pressured or too upset. Yes, in fact, if I am sad, I am not only psychologically heartache but me physically heart pain too. I used to have the weak heart together with me for these so many years yet I don’t take good care of it. Normally, I used to take that kind of lightly attack on my heart, a little bit pain and I won’t complain and I always think that’s the pressure which caused it pains. They said this might be inheritance and I don’t deny it to be partly true as few of them in my family they had suffered it too. It’s the heart attack symbol that I never want it to be true!

Come to think about it that was really a horrible night for me! I’ve found myself laid down on the bed and I couldn’t move my body or even just have a light pull on my pillow, I failed to do it! I’ve totally lost my strength to do anything and it’s on the middle of the night while my aunt was sleeping. I’ve tried to wake up from the bed but that kind of severe force fall on so tightly towards my heart that I couldn’t stand to resist! I had been suffered for this for few hours and I slowly fell asleep. I prayed to god and all I know is I’ll be fine the next day when I wake up.

Yes, I was indeed fine in the morning but I can feel the weak beats inside. It caused me so energy-less to have walked so long to and back from work. I felt very tired after the long staircase this time. Am I in the mist of trouble this time? I hope I don’t and yes, I’ll go for a medical check-up soon.

I’ve tried to make myself cheer but I can never force myself to be happy though. There are few of my angel friends who tried to cheer me yet I didn’t manage to help myself to go through the tougher period as such. I’m so lousy that I’ve made myself so poor thing. I don’t wish to be like that! I’m very sorry. I could no longer hold like this anymore and I don’t want to know more.